Sort Yourself Out Ladies
Right, I’m naming and shaming. Well, not quite. But seriously though, what is up with girls airing their dirty linen in public? Or rather, on Facebook? Get a fucking grip.
When I woke up this morning, I checked my Instagram to see what’s going on in the world, and one of my female friends who I shall call The Sad-Act, had uploaded no fewer than 26 soppy, sad, depressing Instagram quote-posts. Honestly, it was almost vomit-inducing.
“Relationships are about trust. If you have to play detective, it’s time to move on.”
“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.”
“A man is only insecure about a female when he knows she deserves better.”
“Romeo and Juliet is just another examples of why communication within a relationship is so crucial.”
God, it’s depressing isn’t it? There were twenty-fucking-six of them. As if my morning hadn’t started out depressing enough already.
Why do girls do this? Guys NEVER do this, or at least, very rarely. I’ve never seen a guy go on for weeks and weeks on his Facebook / Twitter / Instagram accounts about how much he misses the girl, or how much his heart is breaking because she is no longer in his life. You never see that, do you? If you have seen that, please tell me, I’d really like to see it. And laugh, obviously. Wimp.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I know how heartbreaking a breakup can be. I’m still going through one of them myself, aren’t I? I know it’s heartbreaking and I know it feels as if the end of your life has come. But it hasn’t. As sad as I was, I knew I wouldn’t feel sad forever. I knew that although the pain would always be there, that the man I once loved would no longer be in my bed or in my life, it would subside, and one day I would ever find love again in someone new. That’s part of life isn’t it? Is there any real need to be soooooooo melodramatic about it in public?
The thing that really gets to me is the fact that she is PUBLICLY plastering her business all over social media. Surely she has more dignity than that? What happened to walking away from a breakup “winning” – head held high, no regrets, getting on just fine? On the outside at least. You would never know I was going through a breakup in the ‘real world’. There is no mention of it on Facebook. I don’t make my relationship status ‘single’, I just hide it so no one can see it, and then make it ‘single’ when I’m good and ready. I don’t change it so that anyone can see – I’m certainly not joining the pity party.
Why would you let a man have that much control over your happiness? Why would you let a man have that much control in front of 500 of your ‘closest’ friends? It makes no sense to me. I would just rather have a bit more dignity. I don’t need a man to complete me, and even if that’s not strictly true, I don’t need to admit as such to the entire world. Why would you let him know he still bugs you that much? If he did that bad shit to you, bad shit to warrant 26 Instagram posts hating on him, why would you even give him five seconds of your day? Clearly he’s not worth it if he fucked you up that much.
I don’t know. Those 26 posts just really annoyed me. Get a grip of yourself. NO man in the world is worth that. I wouldn’t even let David Beckham have 26 posts telling him how much he won this breakup war. Na uh. No way.
Sort yourself out ladies. That’s all I’m saying.
I have a friend just like that and more old friends on Facebook who do that too! It makes me want to slap some dignity & self respect into them!
Ugh. Women! Get a godamn grip!
One of the first things I learned in therapy is that the things that REALLY annoy us are our subconscious talking to us and shouting “THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM, LOOOOOOK!’ It is classical ‘projection’ – when we dislike something about ourselves so much that we hide the fact that we do it *even from ourselves*, we still on some level know that we have this wound and it needs to heal. So our less conscious parts make us see the issue in others, and it pisses the hell out of us. I fairly recently found I am extremely judgemental, because judgmental people pissed me the hell off! Now people who knew me would be astonished to find that, because I seemed to be accepting of everyone. But I have found that in reality, I am quite capable of saying and doing the ‘nice’ thing, whilst inwardly judging them. I’ve not got as far as dealing with being a judgmental cow yet, but I am at least owning it, and making real efforts to align my outer behaviour with my inner thoughts – so I tell people what I really think. This means people now think I am a bit randomly horrible – but they are seeing the real me and I am working on my issue to change those inner thoughts. And as usual, now I’m dealing with the real issue, judgmental people aren’t on my radar any more. So when something really gets your goat, the thing to do may be to look deeply and honestly at yourself and ask ‘do I have an issue here?’ An interesting exercise is to frankly speak out loud what you would like to say to this woman, and then apply it to yourself and see if it makes any sense whatsoever.
Feel free to dismiss this as Freudian crap, cos he’s going way out of fashion, but I have found it to be all too true, all too often, in my case
Hmmm I do see your point but honestly, I think the self-pity thing just pisses me off. And I don’t really think I’m a ‘wallower’. I get upset or hurt, write it down, and then get over it. Writing is my therapy. I don’t know. I just think there are some things girls should keep to themselves and one of them is the amount of power they let men have. Normally men that don’t deserve it…. Which we’re all guilty of, right? xo