Bear Mental Health My Dating Life 

But That’s Life, Right?

  A couple of you lovely lot have sent me messages lately asking if I’m okay as I’ve been a bit … well, missing, I guess? I have, you’re right, and it’s because I don’t really know what to say. I feel so out the loop too, desperately trying to catch up with what everyone else has been up to and failing miserably. I just … don’t know what to say? What I want to say and what I mean are two different things. Because what I mean is nothing…

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Bear Mental Health My Dating Life 

Opening a Can of Worms

*Long post alert*    I have been avoiding putting up blog posts just like my last one for the longest time. I knew it would open a can of worms if I did because then I’d need to talk about other stuff as well. Well, now I think we’re at that place where we might need to talk about the other stuff. Where do I even start? I guess I should start by saying that I’m a little … sensitive to conditions such as dementia and Alzheimers. My Nana died…

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Bear Mental Health My Dating Life 

How Do I Find My Voice Again?

  Having an argument with a jealous paranoid schizophrenic person with undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder is a bit like having an argument with an angry, hungry bear. I mean, you can try your hardest to fight back, making as much noise as you can and generally making yourself look as big and as scary as possible, but ultimately, you know you are going to die. That bear is going to rip your head off, tear your limbs away from your body, and then devour you from the inside out. My…

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Bear Mental Health My Dating Life NSFW / Sex True Tales 

Why Won’t I Let Him Touch Me?

  My sex drive has entirely changed over the last few years. I probably should have warned you before diving in with something like that. Sorry. But depression, anxiety, and stress has probably had a huge part to play in the whole bonkers libido business, as well as going self-employed, quitting my job, bouncing from one highly inappropriate man to the next, the cervical cancer scare, the bowel cancer scare, and then going through the Brown Eyes saga. I’m not totally devoid of a sex drive these days but something…

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Me & My Opinions Mental Health 

I Love You, Man

I’m starting to really hate my phone. Well, not my phone, Timehop. That poxy app. It’s almost my birthday, so you can imagine the kind of shit it’s showing me right now. Parties, lots of them – my 18th, 19th, 25th, joint birthday and coming home from the other side of the world parties. So many parties. So many people. I had so many friends. I had quite the active social life and I remember having lots of fun. But right now, I’m sat in my bedroom, crying. Funny how…

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Me & My Opinions Mental Health 

A Man Told Me to Kill Myself Today

Content Warning: Discussing suicide. Yep, you did read that right. A man who I’d never met – some random dude on the internet – told me to kill myself. You probably won’t find that funny, but as I sit here with the #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek blog I forgot to post, and also my rebuttal to #13ReasonsWhy, I did find it funny. Perfect timing! I have been feeling SHIT recently. Nothing has been wrong. My relationship has been fine. I’m not lacking in confidence, despite putting on a couple of pounds (and then…

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Bear Mental Health My Dating Life 

Misinterpretation

  It’s funny, the little things that get misinterpreted in a relationship. A hastily scribbled note, for example, or a text message from someone who wants to send you samples of stuff to try and review. Both of these things have wreaked havoc in my relationship over the last few days and I feel it’s about time I talked about it. We lost the Apple TV remote. That’s how it all started. In fact, that’s not how it all started. It all started when some guy got in touch to…

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Girl Health - It's Important! Mental Health My Dating Life Someone New 

The Bad Feeling Day

I have had a very bad feeling about today from the moment I first opened my eyes. I don’t know how to explain it to you, but I like to call it my female intuition. You know what I mean, ladies: that overwhelming sense of dread you get right in the very pit of your stomach when you know something bad is going to happen. I don’t know what it is. I woke up with no energy even though I’d slept for about 7 hours straight (for once). I don’t…

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Jock Me & My Opinions Mental Health My Dating Life 

I’m Fucking Falling For You

Fuck me, I don’t even know where to start updating you with everything. I’m about a week behind in blog posts, so I’ll try to keep things nice and easy to read along with … but I have so much to tell you! “I’m picking you up after work. Wear the cowboy boots and that dress again, please,” Jock text me. It thrilled me that he’d told me what to wear. It’s a little bit of a kink of mine, I think; a man telling me what to wear, how…

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Mental Health My Dating Life One Ball 

Impending Boom

Something’s wrong. I don’t know what it is, but something is definitely wrong. I feel out of sorts. Not quite right. Irritated and restless. It’s driving me potty. I’ve thought a lot about self-harming recently, but I’ve not actually done it. Not in a grab-the-razor-and-cut way, anyway. But a few mornings ago, when my hair wouldn’t go right, I scratched the tops of my arms so hard that I drew blood. I didn’t mean to, it’s just a … thing. Almost like I don’t know I’m doing it until after…

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