Hey, hey, hey! Guess who’s been a crap blogger again. Yep, that’s right. ME! I’m sorry. I don’t know why I can’t seem to get the posts actually on to my blog. It’s not like I’m not writing them.
Well, half-writing them.
Anyway, I’ve been nominated (by Rebecca Chase) to share seven facts about myself. I’ve done this kind of post a few times before, but talking about yourself is super fun. I love talking about myself, can’t you tell? Maybe I’ll link to the old fun-fact posts at the bottom. Y’know, just in case you fancy a read. (Do it, do it!)
Also: you should totally check out the 7 fun facts from these utter babes too:
I decided to do this fun fact sesh a little differently. Rather than spouting off a bunch of tit-bits about myself that I’ve probably already shared, I employed the assistance of Bear. Why? Because he’ll say stuff that I’ll NEVER say. It’ll either be fun or stupid. We’ll either laugh or break up. I’m kidding, we won’t break up. I might give him the silent treatment if he says dickhead things though …
The conversation went a little bit like this:
“Oi, babe, if you had to come up with 7 fun facts about me, what would they be?”
“Why? Who needs 7 fun facts about you?”
“But … you ARE you. Can’t you come up with 7 fun facts about you?”
“Yes, but I’ve done that before. I want to do it again, but I want YOUR fun facts, not MY fun facts.”
“ … Mmmm, kay.”
He must think I’m crazy. Lolz, I’m a writer. I’m currently in the midst of yet another novel-writing frenzy, this one totally different from the ones [MULTIPLES] I’ve attempted to write before. If he checks my Google history, he’s going to think I’m even crazier.
- “What damage would a 10-stone man do to the front bonnet of a medium-sized car if the car hit him at 40mph?”
- “What would a broken leg look like?”
- “How long does it take for date rape drugs to work?”
I’m not even kidding. I’m apparently writing a sci-fi thriller-type thing. I didn’t mean to, but apparently, some of the shit in my head is deep, dark, and fucking awful. Might as well get some of that down on paper, right?
(Another novel I’ll write half or three-quarters of and then quit because I’M NEVER GONNA BE GOOD ENOUGH TO BE A PROPER AUTHOR.)
Anyway, moving away from the weirdness of my Google history and the fact that it doesn’t actually have anything to do with this blog post, this is what happened when I asked my fella to come up with 7 fun facts about me.
(Plus a few thoughts from me, because you knew this was gonna be a stupid idea.)
7 Fun Facts About Me (From Bear)
“Right, I’m going to try and NOT offend you, but I WILL be honest.”
Oh, shiiiiiiit. This may have been a stupid move. You know it’s all going downhill when he starts the list with that, right?
1 – “You find farting much funnier than ANYONE else.”
Okay, I ‘fess up. He got me. Dickhead. I do find farts funny though. Judge me all you like, at least I laugh more than you do.
Pssssst, further reading: My Deal-Breaker Is Flatulence
2 – “Although you like to think before you do something, sometimes you wait too long and then never actually end up doing it. You miss the boat by seriously overthinking it.”
Ugh, shut up. Rather an over-thinker than an under-thinker.
Fine, he does have a point. I miss the boat all the time. ALL THE TIME.
3 – “You have the funniest array of silly walks EVER. You are the most comically animated person I’ve ever known, because of your silly walks and faces. You’re just so funny.”
I’m gonna take this one as a compliment. I’d much rather be hilarious than beautiful. Admittedly, I’d quite like to be both.
P.S. Bear said his favourite walk of mine is Paul McCartney’s ?
4 – “You will only ever watch something that YOU’RE interested in, otherwise, you’ll talk all the way through it. I don’t think I’ve ever watched a full film without you showing me something on Facebook or trying to talk to me. Unless YOU made me watch it, then we BOTH must shut up. (Mine’s silence through fear … )”
Oh god, I’m THAT girl. I can’t even argue with that. I think I do it all the time. I’m such an asshole. I moan about that EXACT thing.
5 – “As emotional as you are and as fair as you are, you have an inner tough little thug inside. You’ll cry at animals and pet kittens and be all cute, and then, out of nowhere, out comes this inner cockney looking for a fight.”
You startin’ something, bruv? Ain’t got a clue whatcha fackin’ talkin’ about.
That’s cockney, right?
6 – “You work too bloody hard and don’t go out enough. Working hard is not a bad thing, but you have a really hard time finding balance.”
I knew this already. We all did. Next.
7 – “You could be the female version of Trigger from ‘Only Fools and Horses’. You couldn’t get a name right if your life depended on it. Although, the nicknames we have for MY friends are quite funny … Stratford John, for example.”
Stratford John isn’t called John. He’s never lived in Stratford either … He might have a point with this one, you know.
8 – “Wait, hang on, can I add another one? You make up the words to every song, pretend it’s right, and then sing it better than anyone ever could. Your lyrics are much funnier.”
Woooooooooah, we’re halfway there, wooooooooah, a chicken and a bear.
So, yeah, I made up my own rules, came up with 8 fun facts rather than 7, and then didn’t come up with them myself at all. Remind me why I’m a blogger again … ?
I hope you enjoyed reading these. If I’ve not added yours in the bit above, I’m sorry. I didn’t miss you out on purpose. Secondly, throw the link in my comments below. I’ll add it to my post, I promise!
Love y’all! xo