Everyone everywhere seems to be talking about anal sex and I keep thinking I should probably have my input. I’m sure I’ve mentioned it a few times over the last four years or so, maybe I should go back and read what I’ve written before? But what’s the big deal all of a sudden? I mean, I know it’s always been a big deal but recently, with boys and girls included, it seems to be the main topic of conversation.
Oh, this post is #NSFW by the way.
I’ve only had anal sex with a handful of men. It’s a bit like oral: they’re both super intimate acts for me, so it’s not the kind of thing I can do with just any ol’ guy. I need to really trust someone to let them in my back door. Like, really trust them. I don’t find it particularly enjoyable and with partners before, I’ve only done it to make him happy. It’s had nothing to do with my enjoyment. The only enjoyment I ever really get out of it is when I use a vibrator at the same time, and even then it can be touch-and-go. I don’t think I’d get any pleasure out of it if it weren’t for a little helping hand on my clit.
In my defence, my first anal experience was horrendous — dry, drunk, and drama-filled. It was a long time after that initial introduction before I tried again, giving it a shot every now and then with the Hubby, mostly to try and stop him from cheating on me. It didn’t work. Back then, I thought if I put everything on the table, including anal, he wouldn’t have the need to go hunting for it elsewhere. I could almost understand his infidelities if I’d been a prude and refused to take it up the ass or give head, but I did virtually everything he wanted. If he wanted anal, he got anal. It just happened sometimes, spur of the moment stuff. We weren’t usually ‘prepared’, spit or natural body fluids used in the place of lubricant, and there was never any real preparation. I think that’s where my avoidance stems from: the majority of my anal experiences have been in-the-moment situations where lubricant wasn’t to hand.
The Guy I Couldn’t Get Rid Of … well, I won’t go back into that story again because I simply don’t want to relive it (you can read it here but don’t EVER bring it up with me…), but that kind of thing happens when you’re not prepared for anal. Things go wrong. It’s an exit … things are going to want to come out. And please, please, please don’t even get me started on that one time my husband accidentally-on-purpose ejaculated in the very place I made him promise he wouldn’t. I spent the next half an hour barricading myself in the bathroom with embarrassment after I’d tried to ‘empty’ myself, and the worst, loudest, most horrifying noises escaped me and echoed around the cold, tiled room.
That one experience has put me off for life. To this day, if anyone even brings up the anal topic with me, that’s the first thing I’ll say:
Don’t ever unload inside my ass.
I really want to be one of those women who LOVES anal, who does it at the click of their partner’s fingers, but I’m really not. I don’t see the point in doing something if I’m not going to et anything out of it, and I genuinely don’t get anything out of it. It makes me feel naughty when the boyfy delicately plays around in that area, with light fingers and a slightly probing tongue, but anything more than that – actual penetration – that’s when I find myself in great difficulty. I can’t seem to relax. I know that everything will be fine once I relax, once my muscles are calm and everything moves slightly more easily, but I just can’t seem to bring myself to find that relaxed point. It doesn’t matter how aroused I get, or how many times I’ve already climaxed, the wrong movement in *that* area will have me squirming. And not in a good way.
I watch anal porn. I quite like anal porn. I get very aroused watching a hard cock slide into a clean, pink, well-lubricated asshole, yet the very prospect of actually doing it dries me up. Physically. Actually. In every way. I don’t know why.
And here’s where things get interesting …
I have two sets of Ben Wa balls: silver ones for vaginal use and gold ones for anal play. There are times when I play alone that I’ll be wet enough to add a touch of lubricant and slide one of those balls in my ass. I’ll either use a finger or a toy to stimulate my clit at the same time, and the feeling of just one of those balls in my ass is delicious. Alone – me and my Ben Wa balls – we do just fine.
But if I were to suggest doing exactly the same thing with Bear … well, it just wouldn’t happen.
So, what’s the problem here? Where’s the disconnect? And why is it happening? If I occasionally enjoy a Ben Wa ball in my ass, why wouldn’t I enjoy a finger? Or a cock? Bear is a very sexually experienced man. I know I would be in great hands. I know he wouldn’t push me too far, or go any further than I would be happy to go, so why can’t I do it? Why does the thought of anal play with him seem too intimidating?
I guess what I’m saying here is that I’d really like to give anal sex a shot. Not just anal sex – anal play.
The whole anal topic – fingers, tongues, cocks, vibrators, Ben Wa balls, butt plugs – it all intrigues me. It’s like a morbid curiosity. I see porn where women seem to enjoy it, and I mean really enjoy it, yet I can’t seem to find the courage to try it, let alone enjoy it.
I need a helping hand.
Send me your blogs – your anal blogs. I want to read all about it – enjoying it, how to do it, how not to do it, all of it. Send me your tips and advice too. I want to make Bear’s day with those three little words he’s been dying to hear …
“Let’s Try Anal!”