I want to talk about something that’s pissing me off. I’ll get right to the point. Bestie and I had a huge falling out because his male BFF tells me that I’ve been leading him on for 15 years. Bestie goes on Tinder (like I’ve been telling him to do for three years minimum), and talks to one girl. He goes on a date with this one girl. He goes on a second date with her. A third date. He sleeps with her on the fourth date, and now it’s been a four months and they’re having sleepovers on weekday nights.
Sorry, how is this fair? How is it fair that a dude decides all of a sudden he wants to go out and find himself a girlfriend, go on Tinder, figure out the first one he talks to is just fine and dandy, and a couple of months later they’re boyfriend and girlfriend?
The first girl. THE FIRST GIRL! Literally, no exaggeration, the first girl he ever talked to on Tinder, on a dating site or app EVER, and now they’re boyfriend and girlfriend … ?
Don’t get me wrong, I want Bestie to be very happy. I’d rather not hear about it at all if I’m honest, but I do appreciate that sometimes I’ll have to listen to this shit. Especially as he’s been listening (or at least, pretending to listen) to my relationship drivel enough over the last few years. But I can’t get my head around it. This guy has been single forever. We’ve been friends for 15 years and I’ve known him to have five girlfriends maximum. They’ve never been long-term. He’s been definitely single (and totally devoid of sex) for the last five years. Like I said before, I thought he was gay. He’s not. He’s totally straight, totally getting laid, and the whole thing is totally pissing me off.
I’ve been online dating for five years and I’ve never met the right man. I still don’t know if the man I’m with now is the right man. I’ve been actually dating for 16 years. I do appreciate that the chances of them – Bestie and his new GIRLFRIEND – going on and getting married, living happily ever after, and having a bunch of kids are slim. But that’s not the point – it was the first girl he spoke to. The first fucking girl. He’d right-swiped about a dozen, messaged this one, and the rest is history. Where the bloody hell have I been going wrong? Or is it all literally a case of being in exactly the right place at the right time to meet the person you instantly click with? And they seem to have definitely clicked. Actual sleepovers on a weeknight is no small step.
I just don’t get it. Does a guy just decide he wants a relationship and boom, he gets it? Every man I know seems to be much luckier in love than I am, and when those men I know decide they *want* a relationship, it’s usually not very long before they’re in one. How does this happen? And secondly, how is this fair? I decided I *wanted* a relationship years ago and I’m still bouncing from unsuitable man to even-more-unsuitable man. He decided he wanted a relationship five bloody minutes ago and he’s in one already. They’ve met each other’s parents and stuff. Shit is definitely getting serious. I guess I was wrong with what I predicted before she went on her ‘single girl’s holiday’.
I’m just really frustrated. I don’t really know why I’m frustrated, but I am. I’m pissed off that he gets what he wants when he decides he wants it, virtually screwing me over in the process. I’m still paying his bills, yet we’ve barely spoken to each other for months. We no longer spend any time together. I have no clue where he is. He has no clue where I am. We’ve gone from knowing every little tiny detail about each other, and each other’s daily lives, to knowing nothing at all. I have been totally and utterly replaced … except she’s not paying his damn bills and cleaning up after him.
I hope that he finds happiness, I really, really do. But did it really need to be the very first girl that he spoke to on Tinder? It’s a good job he doesn’t have a blog. It’d be a really short one.
- Expected word count: 20.004
- Word count today: 775
- Word count to date: 15.635 (Well … I’m massively behind!)
(Oh, and if you’re wondering what ‘Because I Can’t Write a Novel‘ is all about, click the link to be taken to the start … )