He popped back up a while back and as suggested, I just stopped sending him messages back. I didn’t see the point. I’d known he wasn’t right for me for a long time when we were dating so getting into any kind of communication would just be pointless for us both. It would string him along and I’d end up having ‘fake feelings’. Because girls get those fuckers sometimes and they proper screw with your head.
When I got the all-clear, I didn’t know whether or not I should tell him the good news. He had been there through quite a big chunk of some of the worst of it. I didn’t really know the right way to handle it. When he popped back up the first time, he asked if everything was alright as far as my health was concerned so I figured it was only appropriate for me to let him know the good news.
So I did.
(I would just like to point out that I haven’t and probably won’t tell The Director… Does that say something?)
The conversation continued. Didn’t I predict that? So much for taking my own advice. I’m a goddamn hypocrite. But hey, whatever. Isn’t that what being single is all about? Making dumbass decisions? Nope, there’s no way I can justify this. I’m just making bad decisions for the sake of making bad deacons because I’m single, a little on the horny side and kinda bored of being single again already.
Except I’m not. Because I don’t exactly want a relationship either. I don’t really know what I want which is why I know meeting Someone New is a very bad idea. Which is what we had planned for today…
Yesterday’s date – The Dom. (I still need to talk about this.)
Today’s date – Someone New.
This is the most active my social life has been in a really long time.
I checked my phone when I first woke up and was relieved to see no message. I knew I would need to message him eventually because the last time we agreed to meet up for a ‘coffee and a chat’, I just kinda didn’t text him. I pulled a ‘Joey’. He didn’t text me either but I knew he wouldn’t. He got kinda pissed about it and I knew he’d take it personally if I blew him out a second time plus I figured it would be nice to meet up for a coffee and a chat. We’re adults aren’t we? And it’s not like he was a total asshole or anything when we parted ways.
It got to about lunchtime and I knew I’d need to do it. So I did. And then he blew me out.
Honestly, as much as I was quite looking forward to getting out the house and seeing a familiar face, I really couldn’t be bothered. I was pissed off for a split second obviously. It’s not nice being blown out. But I was almost grateful for the chance to spend a day doing absolutely fuck all. I’d done all the work I needed to do and aside from catching up with you lovely people, I have nothing else on the agenda. So I’m walking around the house in my underwear hoping no one else is home. I’m prancing around making cups of coffee to Justin Bieber songs because apparently, I’ve turned into a fucking Belieber again. He has dropped some pretty amazing tunes recently… I’m just saying. Don’t judge me for my poor taste in music.
Is it too late now to say sorry…?
Anyway, Justin Bieber puns aside, Someone New is suggesting an evening-date next. I think I know what that means. Drinks and ‘bonus night’… It’s so predictable.
I seem to be following my own breakup rules splendidly… Or not.
Right, let’s start again. Page one…