So, something happened yesterday between Someone New and I that actually really pissed me off and I realised a little something. I don’t know if it is misunderstood arrogance, or whether he’s just plain rude but sometimes, he’s just plain rude.
It’s something that has been bugging me for a little while, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was wrong. I might be overreacting here but sometimes, it feels as if nothing I do is quite enough for this guy.
Before you jump down my throat and tell me I’m being a crazy girl, let me explain myself.
He tells me what he likes. He wanted me to wear the grey bra and teeny tiny matching thong for example, but he didn’t even look at them. He didn’t bother taking my shirt off that night, only just about managing to take my jeans off before he slid inside me. It’s like it goes unnoticed, let alone arousing any appreciation.
The same thing happened when I wore the white underwear. I bought a second pair of matching panties so that he could have a clean pair to keep for himself (he likes keeping my panties, and I feel weird about leaving dirty pants at his place. It’s weird, right?), and he barely managed to get a look at them. He was inside me, and then he was jerking himself off, and then his penis broke before anything else had a chance to really happen. To be fair, that wasn’t exactly his fault.
It happens a lot though. He told me he liked it when I wore a victory in my hair so I did, twice. Not one mention for it. He didn’t even say “Hey, you’ve got your hair in a victory roll!” What’s the point in telling me you like something, for me to do it and then it go unnoticed? Just like when he told me he likes it when I play up my eyes. Lots of liner, and plenty of lashes yet still, not one single compliment. Yet via text message, he’ll tell me I’m pretty but face to face, it’s almost like I’m invisible, like the changes I make aren’t important.
Today it came to a head. Every now and again, when he’s had a drink, he likes to have a cigar. I figured I’d get him one of those electronic ones. I’m a ‘vaper’ myself. I told him about it today seeing as I was sick again and there’s a pretty good chance I’m NOT going to see him tomorrow…. Before he goes away for three weeks. He didn’t even say thank you. Like at all. Even after I said ‘You’re welcome,” sarcastically. Instead, he asked me “Why?”
What a ridiculous question. Why would he ask me WHY I had gotten him a gift? Like, I know I haven’t given it to him yet, but what happened to old fashioned manners? Do people not even say thank you anymore? What the fuck? What the fucking fuck?
It happens a lot although I’ve only just worked it out, there’s a few times I can say the same thing has happened. It’s like I’m ‘pointless fluff’ in his life sometimes, and the things I say don’t matter. He even talks over me before I’m finished speaking, although I kinda pulled him up on it and it would appear he’s getting better. But a while ago, I wanted to tell him about a really important thing that happened with my website stuff, and he dismissed it completely. About two weeks later he bought it up again, but the damage had already been done. It had been an important moment in my life, in my career, and he’d dismissed it. That kinda hurt my feelings.
When he does good stuff, he wants to talk about it. Stuff with me in bed, stuff at work, stuff at home. I let him talk about it too because he’s my boyfriend and that’s what I’m meant to do. I don’t know. Sometimes I just feel a little overshadowed by him. As though his stuff is more important than my stuff. Not all the time, just sometimes. That’s what makes it so difficult to bring up with him. It’s not really a big deal, is it?
It almost goes back to what I was saying the other day, doesn’t it? He doesn’t have diplomacy when it comes to rubbing the women he has fucked in my face, and he doesn’t have the manners to listen to something I’ve done well, or even say thank you for the gifts I get him.
I hate this part of the relationship – when you start learning all the petty, annoying, irritating things about the other person. All I’m saying is, for someone so polite, he can be really rude.
What happened to manners?