Dear Someone New,
I figured I probably wouldn’t get the chance to tell you every reason why we are breaking up so why not write it all down and share it with my readers instead? It’s not like anything I ever said to you went into that thick skull of yours anyway. After all, wasn’t it less than a week ago I told you why it was inappropriate to use other women to make me jealous, intended or otherwise, and how you needed to learn to have a little tact when you are in a relationship?
Apparently that went in one ear and right out the other. You didn’t listen to me. Just as I have said on a number of occasions throughout our seven or eight-month relationship, you rarely listen to me. Not about the important stuff. Not about the small stuff really either. You gloss over big things that happen in my life while I’m expected to listen to every little intricate detail of yours, and you seem to give even less a shit about my feelings as you do about what happens to me.
OK so you’re really not that bad but right now, I am very angry so you’re getting it with both barrels. Sorry in advance. In fact, I’m not. You do gloss over me and the way I feel. The important things that happen to me aren’t important to you. I’m a little factor in your life and you do what everyone else seems to do to me without giving a shit – hurt my feelings and then thinking I’ll get over it because that’s what I do. I moan and groan and then I get over it.
Not this time though.
Here are all the reasons we are breaking up:
I watched you go on an actual date with a home-wrecking whore. This woman, a woman who you have quite clearly described to me lusts after you and will make the most of every opportunity to try and get to you, is also a woman who you told me you wouldn’t trust to be in the same room alone. Whenever you arrange time with her because you are Godfather to her kid(s), you try to do it when your parents or around, or her kids, because then you can make sure damn sure nothing happens and nothing can be misinterpreted.
This is the same girl who you have ridiculed for her slutty behaviour. She has two kids from a married man who will never leave his wife. Isn’t that what you told me? This girl had no issues breaking up a marriage or at least trying to, so why the fuck would she care about what we have? She might be your friend and a real good person but the impression YOU have painted to me of her has not been a very good one. Why would you then have this woman over to your house for dinner? For a fucking date?
And before you argue that point, yes it was a date. You watched a movie and you cooked her dinner, my favourite dinner no less. Thanks for that. Not only that but I had to endure no fewer than SIX social media posts throughout, giving me a step-by-step rundown of exactly how your date went. Thanks for that. Could you have rammed that down my throat a little more?
That Instagram picture with her on MY spot on your couch… The same spot we lie when your hands trail down into my jeans. The same spot on which we have fucked on more than one occasion. She was sat there, close to you, basically sat in your lap in fact, with that fucking smug smile on her face. She knew what she was doing when she posted that picture. She knew what she was doing when she posted all of those social posts. And let’s just go through the rundown of posts I had to endure, shall we?
There was that very first post which pissed me off because of your flirty behaviour. Then there was her announcement of the date. Then there was the announcement of lasagne. Then there was your post saying “great to catch up”, then there was the Instagram photo, then the private joke-spider saga post….
Shall I fucking continue? Like honestly, there is no other reason for there to have been THAT many posts unless you were trying to prove a point. Well, prove your point you did and you proved it well. But you lost. It’s over. I have no time in my life for a man that has zero consideration for my feelings. You knew what seeing that shit would do to me. You knew what my impression is of that girl because you gave it to me. You knew exactly what you were doing, trying to get a reaction out of me, seeing how I’ll react.
How’s this for a reaction – I’m over it. I’m over you. It’s done. Bye bye!
I’m not putting up with that bullshit. If you don’t know the difference between good relationship behaviour and bad relationship behaviour, you’re never going to have a successful one. I don’t have the time to teach you. Nor do I care enough. I had been on the fence about you for a while but over the last few weeks, things had been going progressively downhill and as far as I’m concerned, this date with the home-wrecking whore was the last straw for me. You’re lucky you didn’t get un-friended and blocked there and then. Very fucking lucky.
You publicly took the piss out of me. You made me look like a mug. And then, to make matters even worse, your mother commented on the photo of the two of you telling you how great you both looked and how she was glad you’d had a great evening. Your mother HATES me and she has never even met me. And now I’m having to put up with seeing her smother this fucking home-wrecking whore with love and affection, kisses, the lot. You’re taking the fucking piss out of me. Well, not anymore but you were.
You may as well have just cheated on me last night. You know why? Because now the seed has been planted. You could be the most trustworthy man in the world but because of your behaviour last night, I’m always going to doubt you. If you have could have that little care for me and my feelings, or what that date would do to my head, I dread to think what else would mean so little to you. I would doubt your commitment to me and worse than that, I would go looking for evidence to show you had been unfaithful. And you know I’d find something innocent and twist it into something bad. That’s what crazy girls do. I’ve been here too many times before. I know how this works.
You see, you have so many women in your life that I can barely keep up. Things haven’t been easy for you dating me, I get that. But at the same time, things really haven’t been that easy for me either. You are impossible to read and 99% of the time, it looks like you don’t give a shit about much. When I try to make an effort to impress you, it’s like you don’t even notice. When I do the things YOU ask me to do, you don’t pay attention. I’m the invisible woman and I can tell you this, that’s not a relationship role I play very well.
The other women in your life are already causing problems for us, very early on. I know from personal, past experience that the other women in your life will be the thing to break us apart a couple of years down the line, if we even made it that far. It’s a small, burning resentment now but add a few more months or add another situation I find wholly unacceptable and it will turn into blind fury. I’d rather end things now than continue and turn into the crazy bitch from hell down the line.
I no longer trust you the same way I did a week ago. I don’t know if you’re just plain dumb and don’t realise how much last night could have hurt me, or if you’re doing it to try and get some sort of reaction out of me, but whatever it was, it’s finished us. This is a girl YOU told me you couldn’t be in a room alone with and then you put yourself in a room alone with her. If even you can’t see that was the dumbest thing you ever did, there is no helping you. I’m certainly not going to sit here and waste my time.
When I found out Number 42 was coming back to work with me, the first thing I did was tell you. I knew it would make you uncomfortable with our history so I did my best to put your mind at ease, and I told you before you found out any other way (such as Facebook) and threw a hissy fit. I had to find out you were going on a date with that slut through Facebook. You have no consideration for me and if you had, you would have told me about the dinner before it happened. I certainly wouldn’t have needed to find out about it that way.
That aside, I wouldn’t put myself in a position where I was alone with another man who I knew full well could read the situation as something other than it was. I wouldn’t go out for a romantic, candlelit dinner and movie with Number 42. I’m a grown up. If I don’t want to lead someone on (which I don’t), and I don’t want to create potential rumours or sticky situations, I just don’t put myself in those situations. I might think about it for a while, but I don’t actually do it. It doesn’t make sense to do it either – relationships are hard enough work as it is without throwing a whole bunch of extra shit into the mix.
Secondary to that, I deliberately ensure I don’t put social posts up that I know will cause a reaction from you because I have tact, and the way you feel is important to me. I can’t act the same way in a relationship would you as I would if I were single. If I were single, I’d have put the posts up about me and Number 42 doing stuff but because I know it would affect you, I don’t. You don’t care. Whether it’s the work colleague, or the Bitch, or this home-wrecking whore, you put it all up there, as if you were a single guy. It’s not fair. Not at all. I cut down on the amount of posts that could pose a problem for you, and you increase yours… It doesn’t make any sense.
You see, now I’ve started, I can keep going too. I can keep coming up with reasons why we shouldn’t be together. Your mother – she hates me. I don’t get it at all seeing as she’s never met me, but it’s hardly like you stand up for me, is it? You just bow down to her just like my Hubby did to his mother. I never won that battle and I’m not stupid enough to think I can win this one either. I have never won a relationship battle where another woman has been involved, whether it’s a mother, a crazy ex, or a besotted best friend.
I have too much emotional baggage myself to deal with your game-playing. I don’t know the rules and I don’t really plan to be around for long enough to learn them. I have been doubting ‘us’ for a long time and as far as I’m concerned, your date with this home-wrecking whore really was the cherry on top. I’m so over this. So over it.
So there you have it. Those are the reasons we are breaking up and I’m sure I could come up with plenty more too. I’m not saying you’re a bad guy and I’m sure to someone else, you’d be the perfect boyfriend but you’re just not the right guy for me.
I’m not stable enough to deal with all your instability.