So last night I had my sixth date with my Someone New. I think it was the sixth anyway. I’ve been real busy with writing work and my day job (I’ve actually managed to do like three weeks without phoning in sick so far – that’s a major improvement for me), and I’ve had my last therapy session! It feels like things are on the up despite my boyfriend being a whole load clingier than I imagined he would be. We shall talk about this later.
For now I want to talk about what happened this morning. Now last night, we had sex as predicted. The only problem was, I started bleeding right after. That’s right, our sixth date was the ‘four-week’ date – when I could officially have sex after the LLETZ procedure to remove my pre-cancerous cells, which was a success by the way. I am all-clear for six months! Anyway, the bleeding and the pain I had meant that we agreed to give it another week before we tried anything again so this morning, he woke me up with his morning wood, and I instinctively moved my hand to greet it.
Not long into things, he told me he wanted me to blow him until he finished. Now normally, I wouldn’t have minded this but it was six o’clock in the morning, my victory roll from the night before had flopped unceremoniously and unattractively, I hadn’t even had a sip of water, tea or anything yet, and I had barely manage to remove the sleep-gunge from the corners of my eyes before he was blurting his load down the back of my throat.
Hmmm. I don’t know how I felt about that.
Rapey oral is always hot, as far as I’m concerned, but there is something to be said about having a little respect first thing in the morning. I mean, isn’t his mouth dry as a bone when he first wakes up? Bad breath and all? Did he seriously think that my poor, dry mouth was going to be able to bring him to an earth-shattering finish? It did, but only with a lot of help from my hands and his pre-cum. My mouth doesn’t even work to speak at 6am, let alone suck a dick.
Honestly, I actually found the whole scenario a bit rude and there’s not much that shocks me anymore. I can honestly say, however, that no one else has ever asked me to blow them until they squirted down the back of my throat at six in the morning before. Well, unless we were still up from the night before but that’s something else entirely.
So, dry mouth aside, we got there in the end but I feel that I should have my little rant about it. Too frightened to say to him what I would really want to, plus I don’t really want to hurt his feelings, I figured the best place to vent my frustrations would be here… So here I go.
DON’T EVER ASK ME TO SUCK YOUR DICK AGAIN AT 6 IN THE MORNING!
I don’t know how to express that loudly or more concisely to you, gentlemen. Oh yes, this isn’t just for my guy – this is for all the guys that think it is acceptable to basically force your cock down someone’s throat at that god forsaken hour of the morning.
If you want me to blow you, please bring me either water, tea, diet coke, or any other similar cold, wet beverage so that I can quench my thirst. Perhaps even let me to get up to pee but I can honestly forgive that if you can’t wait. But trying to suck a dick with a mouth like the Sahara desert is no easy task. I’m just eternally grateful that my guy produces enough lubricant without me needing to bring my zero-reserve spit levels into play. Not all girls are this lucky.
Oh and if you’re going to cum in my mouth, actually cum in my mouth not over my arm, up my nose, in my hair and across the bed. I know you guys can’t manage to get your aim together for something as large as the toilet bowl, but at least try to have some kind of aim when your target is her open mouth. I’m going to need to go about my day shortly and I didn’t bring hair-washing equipment with me. You don’t have shampoo or conditioner. I’m a girl. I’m a girl with coloured hair.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that there are certain things it’s not acceptable to do first thing in the morning. Just take a peek at the 10 Rules of Morning Sex if you need a helping hand. Anal sex is a definite no-no (for me), and I’ve just added oral sex to that list too. That is, unless my parched mouth has been quenched beforehand, and your semen isn’t the first drink of my day.
Please and thank you! 🙂