Could Someone New Be Someone Special?
So … I’ve decided that I really should probably give Someone New a chance. Despite all of those red flags I talked about earlier on, he’s actually turning out to be a really nice guy. Maybe he’s just got some dominant, old-fashion, gentlemen’s charm working for him, rather than being the massive narcissist that so many of my exes seem to have turned into. Or am I just being naive?
I had my little temper tantrum and made him agree to go to the clinic to get his sexual health tested. That’s where he went this morning, not only because I asked him to, but also because “it’s probably about time, it’s been a while”. I tried to get Jock to do the same thing for two whole years and he never did. I got the same “yes, dear” response every time, but he never quite managed to make it. This guy is totally different: more attentive, more understanding, actually does what he says he going to do. It’s making me wonder why I missed the waste of space I had before, actually thankful to have found this seemingly great guy I’ve got. And there are times when he makes me feel almost euphoric.
He takes care of me, both in the bedroom and out of it. He fucks me good n’ proper, but he listens to me when I talk too. He pays attention, buys me silly little gifts, and says/does things to make me feel special. They were all the things I asked Jock to do – basically begged him to do – and he never did. Maybe it’s about time I opened up my eyes and stopped pining for the useless ex? Maybe I should give Someone New more of a chance that I have done so far? Perhaps I did judge him a little too soon …
Things aren’t going plain-sailing, though. He’s doing things with the best of intentions, but they’re being received quite badly. He’s already added my dad as a friend on Facebook, and now they apparently chat to each other fairly regularly, sometimes about me, which totally freaks me out. And then he messaged my Bestie too. Bestie freaked out, I freaked out because Bestie freaked out, and it was all a bit of a nightmare, to be honest. I’ll introduce the two of them when *I’m* good and ready, not when he thinks it’s about time. At the time, I felt like showing him the door. He’s trying to force things, move things along too fast, like an overexcited puppy who pees a little when he gets excited. I want to take things slowly, though. My heart’s still broken and bruised, and I quite like the happy little bubble we’ve found ourselves in. (Most of the time.) I don’t want to burst it yet, but it feels like he’s doing everything in his power to fuck it up, all the while actively avoiding trying to fuck it up.
But him going to the clinic and not arguing when I asked? That means a lot to me. I know it’s not a pleasant situation to go through, and we all know what men are like when they need to seek out medical attention for something: it just doesn’t happen. The Hubby was a prime example; he literally waited until he had green gunk coming out of his dick before he thought he should get himself checked out. He admitted to me, later on, that he’d had symptoms for a while but just hoped they’d go away by themselves. Skank. I hate him for being that free n’ easy with his sexual health — and mine!
With everything I’ve had to go through recently, with the cervical cancer scare and the godawful LLETZ procedure, if Someone New had kicked up a fuss about getting himself checked out, I’d have kicked him to the curb. Playing around with your sexual health is a deal-breaker for me. I’m stupid and accidentally do things I shouldn’t without a condom when I’m drunk, but I’m trying to be better. I’ve learned my lessons. It’s just not smart to take your sexual health for granted. And that’s the worst thing about half-dating/casually dating: condoms slip and get forgotten about, and not enough men are as eager as I want them to be when it comes to heading to the clinic. Plus, I fucking hate condoms.
It seems to be that there’s not a lot of things this guy won’t do for me, and he’s already told me that he’s falling in love with me. “Head over heels” for me, those were his words. Maybe it’s about time that I let him into my life a little? Not treat him like he’s going to be just another bullshit guy? m’ starting to accept that Jock isn’t ever going to come back, no matter how much I wish him to or think he should.
Maybe I’m just starting to fall in love with Someone New and I’m a little bit scared?
Could Someone New be someone special?Β
The only fairytale that would ever star Jock would be the one with Bluebeard.
I am a little confused about how there has to be any kind of decision made about Someone New. He could be someone special, he may not be. You know me, I would have ditched him for the weird friending behaviour, impolite blow-job activity, and other control issues by now, but this is why I am single (and single is the way I like it). It is early days, why make any decision? I’d personally be in no rush to unman the barricades for what might still turn out to be a Trojan horse.
Hahaha loved that comment, as always. The reason I think I need to make a decision is because I’m pretty sure the big “I Love You” is gonna come real soon. He’s edging closer and closer to it, plus he’s made it a million percent clear how much I mean to him already.
Never let another person’s feelings be more important than your own unless they are your child – and even then think twice. Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean you have an obligation to feel the same way, or even that you have to know how you feel. Many, many people use ‘I love you’ as a means to force your hand, or to fish you in/keep you hooked, or to make you feel better about yourself, or to future fake, or to solidify the relationship, or to…. well, you get the idea – the words may have an entirely different meaning to the person saying them than to the person hearing them.
I read this today and thought of you (and me actually, but it’s much easier to apply to someone else, hahaha!): http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/admit-the-cover-up-stop-overcompensating/