NotSoSexintheCityMy Dating Life 

Meet Number 19.

The Bad Memory’s name is that for a reason. This was the best friend of the guy I was dating at the time: Number 20 – RAF Guy. The reason I bring him up is because he seems to be popping into my life more often recently, normally when I’m at work. I guess that’s another one that has crawled out of the woodwork since my recent body transformation. Prick.

9efd148ac4cd55eb355f946ad117632fThe Bad Memory got fat. That was the first thing I noticed when he came in armed with his son and the same leather jacket he wore the night we fucked. He still had the same bad teeth. You know what I mean; you can see the yellow scum literally clinging to his teeth. I remember his teeth being like that all those years ago. About ten years now to be exact. Trust me, sleeping him is not something I openly admit to.

He had BO, a scummy house and rarely showered. I’m not entirely sure why RAF Guy hung around with him but I guess they had been friends for some time. I’m almost one hundred percent sure I’m not the first girl they’ve shared… nor the last.

The night we slept together was after a fight between RAF Guy and I. After an impromptu night in the pub with my work colleagues during which I remember downing at least three full pints of beer, I had called up RAF guy who was away doing this flying-job thing, and I’m not sure what started it, or what happened, but we had a fight. I’m pretty sure The Bad Memory had told me RAF guy had cheated on me…. He was a two-faced slime ball like that.

He offered to take me home because I was blind-drunk but, instead of taking me to my own house, he took me to his and plonked me down in his bed. I remember going downstairs where he was on the couch playing video games, and the next thing I knew, we were back in his bed, full heavy-petting and then I’m almost one hundred percent sure we fucked. I don’t remember it but I found the condom, I KNOW when I’ve had sex, and he was all over me like a fucking rash.

He has always tried to reenact the night I can’t remember, and even though he was dating a mutual friend of ours at the time, his 21st birthday was a party at my house that would end up with a threesome between me, him and his girlfriend. We went out shopping and bought matching corsets, in preparation for the night, and after a heated night of spin the bottle and other sexually charged games, we all headed to get down and dirty.

The only problem with this is that things didn’t exactly go to plan. I didn’t head to bed with them in the quest for a threesome. I ended up in bed with Number 21 – The “Oh My God” Guy. The Bestie I’ve Never Had a Dalliance With ended up in bed with The Bad Memory and his girlfriend…. It was a pretty drunken night and we all did things that we were ashamed of.

*I must add as a note here that Bestie only screwed her; no gayness. He’d be mortified if I gave that impression so thought I’d best clear that up in case he ever reads this!*

Every time I see The Bad Memory now, I can see the creepy lust in his eyes as he desperately attempts to woo me back so we can reenact that first night of passion. Well, on his side anyway. I can’t imagine I was that good in the sack to be honest, I could barely walk home. He seems to keep hinting at it though. Slime ball.

Anyway, seeing as he keeps popping up in my life, I thought I would give you a little bit of background information. And don’t judge me… We’ve all done THAT bloke, right?


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