At exactly 7:56am this morning, as I was in the middle of getting ready for work, I lost it. It’s been 6 days since Jock and I last spoke. At this point, I had officially had enough. That was it. It was coming out there and then, no matter how long it took us.
“So I’m assuming we’re done here then?”
It came out in a fury. He got the full force of 6 days worth of silence and an early morning wake up right there in that text and he knew it too. Within 10 minutes he had messaged me back:
“I messaged you Friday and heard nothing back. Thought you were busy”
Oh no. He’s not turning this around on me. The rest of the conversation involved me pretty much saying the following, sprinkled with a little bit of him grovelling.
I don’t want to be with someone that could forget about me so easily. I don’t want to be with someone that was so disregarded for a night out on the piss. I was sick and he didn’t know. I had my first “boss girl” shift at work and he didn’t know how it went. He didn’t know that my website was starting to make me real money. He didn’t get to see the apron and shoe combo I had planned for him. He didn’t see the cute white boy shorts I had bought with the knee-high cute sports socks to wear with his American football jersey. He knew that I wouldn’t have messaged him over the weekend because he was out on Saturday night and I wouldn’t have wanted to bug him while he was out. He also knew that I would never have bugged him with it on Sunday when he had a hangover. He admitted that he knew that. Then he told me he loved me and my heart skipped a beat. Wow I really missed him. We’re still not back to normal and I’m not sure if I want to see him this weekend, but we’re back. I’m never mad at him for long.
I have the cutest outfit planned for Saturday night if we do make it that far – to the Redneck’s party. I bought some tights and I have some mahoooooosive black suede shoes with leopard print platform and stiletto heel. I also have the cutest A-Line dress that’s beige and a very dark navy blue, almost black. I’ll try and find a picture of it to give you an idea. It’s a UK size 12 / US Size 10. I’ve never been this small. I’m excited to wear the dress. I’m excited to show him me in the dress. I’m excited for him to peel the dress away from my body…. then the tights. He’d make me put my shoes back on, of course 😉
I have an image in my head of how this outfit will look and for once in my life, I think I’m finally okay-enough with my body for the picture coming back in the mirror to be just as good as that image. I might go try it all on and show you. I don’t know if I’m brave enough…
I just hope he grovels enough for me to wear the outfit. I really do. I’m not sure what enough is, but I’m sure he’ll manage to do it. I have faith in him.
I love him again. Yay.