I’m in very serious trouble.
Like, super serious trouble.
I’ve just spent another AMAZING 24 hours with the AMAZING Jock, and I can say one thing with absolute honesty: he rocks my fucking world.
I definitely wasn’t this happy with One Ball at the beginning. I didn’t feel like this. He made me happy and stuff but this is something else. I’m in a constant state of giggly butterflies, wishing the hours away until I can see him next, literally running to my phone whenever it makes a vibrating noise just in case it’s another text from him. I can’t compare this to One Ball at all. It’s nowhere near the same. I do remember feeling this exciting, nervous and giggly when I first met and starting dating Big Love though … and that means we’re REALLY in trouble. Well, I am.
When I look at Jock, I don’t see flaws. I did when we first started hanging out, but I don’t see a single negative about him now. His smaller-than-average penis size doesn’t bother me. I don’t see the tired, red eyes and unshaven face that he keeps apologising for. I’m not paying attention to the bitten fingernails, or the grey hair, or the slightly bulging waistline … I noticed those things at the beginning, and of course I notice them when he points them out to me (a lot), but I mostly can’t stop thinking what an amazing man he is — and all of those ‘flaws’ just seem to fade out into the background.
I don’t see people looking at us funny because he’s definitely quite a bit older than me. It doesn’t matter that he is actually almost a decade older. The little belly he hates so much is part of him I love; a cushion that my head can rest on, with a hairy chest that I can run my fingers through. He’s a ‘real man’. He’s what I would describe as a real man, anyway. He’s MY kind of man. I guess that’s all that really matters.
He took me to the zoo. I love the zoo. It’s my favourite place in the whole world. I’ve always loved animals a lot more than I’ve loved people, so I was more than happy with his choice of date — and even happier when he paid for me to have a YEARLY ticket, allowing us to go back again at any time we wanted.
“How do you fancy spending a night here sometime?” he asked me, pointing to a flyer for a safari-camping experience.
“Oh my gosh,” I gushed. “I’d love that more than anything in the world!”
And I wasn’t lying.
We spent a blissful day just walking and talking our way around the zoo, taking photos, holding hands, and kissing. It was amazing. Just … amazing. If this is what life is going to be like with this man, I want to sign up right now. Throw in the extended warranty too.
After the zoo, we went for a steak dinner, and then it was time to go back to his place. As excited as I was for a night of under-the-covers fun with my new boy toy, my hopes were soon dashed when my period came unexpectedly. It didn’t stop everything, though. There was one blowjob. A little of dry-humping. An orgasm each. Like, we did okay, you know? His wandering hands in the middle of the night were too much of an invitation to turn down.
The next day was a lazy day. Him, me, his back garden and some summer sun. He talked a lot, but that’s another thing I don’t seem to mind so much. I could listen to him for hours, talking about anything under the sun. A lot of it is down to his accent, of course; I’m hopelessly in love with that already and have been from the very first moment I heard him talk. But it’s not all down to that. He has this infectious, happy energy that you can’t help but get carried away with. Plus it seems as though he’s lived a hundred years with all the stories he tells, but he’s got photos or a tattoo or some other kind of memento to go along with them. We’re well-matched in that department. It’s not like I haven’t got a few stories of my own to tell. We can even share war stories.
“I’ve got to say something,” he said to me, completely serious-faced, out of the blue. I genuinely thought he was going to break up with me for a moment. “I don’t see this being a short term thing, do you?”
And I barely even had to think for a second before I answered: “No.”
And then we talked some more, making hypothetical plans for the coming year. He told me that he loved my smile and that being around me made him feel genuinely happy. He also told me that he has a ‘thing’ for my eyes and has loved the way we’ve progressed up until that point.
It feels as though everything is just nicely slotting into place. Our zoo trip was only our fourth date, but it was another super-long one. In just four dates, we’ve managed to fit in something like sixty hours of together-time. When you think about it, that’s a truckload more than the average four dates’ worth, right?
I’m properly smitten. It’s too soon to be feeling this way for him, but I’m definitely feeling it. It’s a feeling that grows more intense each time I see him, and after just four dates I already want to spend more and more time with him. But I can’t tell him how much I feel for him already, can I? What if it freaks him out? And how am I meant to tell him that I’m … well, whatever it is I am for him. I can’t really say that I’m falling for him just yet … or maybe I am? It’s a definite obsession, though. Smitten. Can’t get him out of my head. I’m literally counting down the hours until he comes back to pick me up tomorrow evening, and I’m keeping my fingers very tightly crossed that my period kindly fucks off so I can get some action. I’m not holding my breath though. That shit never goes my way.