The Art of Blowjobs
I have a very serious predicament, people. It’s a predicament that’s making me more frustrated than it should, but I’ve already tried to overlook it and ignore it and doing all of that just hasn’t worked.
I can’t make One Ball cum in my mouth by giving him head. I’ve been trying for months, everything I/we could possibly think to try but still, nothing has worked. Nothing at all. And now it feels like it might be time for me to give up trying … at least for now. And I’m really getting frustrated by it. Giving head and making him (‘him’ being the man whose dick I’m sucking) cum in my mouth/over my face/across my tongue is one of my favourite things to do.
Are you sure you’ve tried everything, though?
Yes, I’m sure I’ve tried everything. EVERYTHING.
There was that one time I gave him head for a full 45 minutes, using my hands and my mouth at the same time, giving it all I had with enthusiasm and lots of saliva and the occasional drop or two of flavoured lube.
Nothing.
And then there was the time he abstained from any sexual activity, even alone, for a full week before he came to see me. (See: A Naughty Weekend, The L-Word & Running into a Bathroom Door.)
Nothing.
I tried to make it the very first thing we did after a period of no contact to try and move things along. No fucking, no fingering, none of that, just straight to him, all of my attention focused solely on his dick. His beautiful dick.
Nothing.
So then we tried it another time, with lots of teasing and build-up and kissing and licking and his favourite porn material playing just in front of him on the laptop.
Still, as you might’ve guessed, nothing.
We’ve tried it with him on his knees, with me on my knees, with him sitting up, with him standing up, with me leaning over him and letting my nipples graze his legs, with him in various states of lying down …
Nothing.
I’ve been on my back with him squatting over my face, with him kneeling over my chest, with him fucking my mouth as my head bashes back against the wall …
Nothing. It’s so infuriating.
We even tried it in the great outdoors; once in his car, plus another time in a parking lot. It’s frustrating the absolute shit out of me. I’m trying to be a good girlfriend and not make it a big deal so that he doesn’t feel weird about it and we both end up making things worse because that’s what I’m meant to do, right? But it’s not easy. Not being able to satisfy him in that way is making me feel most unsatisfied myself.
I can’t get no satisfaction … ?
Of course, it doesn’t matter how little of a deal I try to make it, he’s developing some sort of complex. He can see that it frustrates me and that I’m not getting what I want out of him, and that’s just making things worse. Now we both feel like we’re doing shit wrong even though neither of us actually are.
I don’t really care how this next statement makes me sound because I’m proud of it, but I’m renowned for my blowjobs. Every guy I’ve ever blown has praised me to high heaven for my dick-sucking skills, and it’s something that I actively enjoy doing. I love sucking dick. I enjoy it. But half the fun for me is getting to experience that happy ending … seeing spurt after spurt of hot cum shooting from a throbbing, rock hard dick. I want to see it, feel it, taste it and enjoy it. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. I do put a lot of effort in, after all.
One Ball says that he enjoys my blowjobs, but it feels like he gets to a point where he just admits defeat and wants to fuck me instead. I’m not complaining about being fucked by him, obviously, but it’s kinda hard to just move along when I can see the disappointment and defeat in his eyes … and he can probably see disappointment and defeat in mine, too.
“This happens all the time. I get to a point where I feel like I might cum, but then I can’t seem to jump … just over the edge, I guess,” he offered as an explanation. Not that I need one.
“You do it in all the best ways, in all the ways I really love, but it’s just getting over that last hurdle that causes a problem,” he carried on.
And what are all the ways he really loves? Let me tell you …
He doesn’t like me to wank him off as I suck him off, instead preferring me to grip the base of his dick tightly, or lightly tug and grasp at his [one] ball. He only likes the foreskin pulled back a little, not all the way, and he loves it when I use my closed lips to rub around the head of his dick, almost inserting him into my mouth but not quite.
He does the cutest groan when I force my mouth down onto him, letting him feel the back of my throat as I try and get him as deep as I can possibly can, and he *really* likes it when I play with myself as I play with him. I’m a huge fan of that too, to be honest. I get so hot sucking his dick. Like, dripping-wet hot. Why wouldn’t I reach down and get myself off at the same time?
When he gets close to cumming, he always tells me, and that’s where I need to pick up speed and keep it going. Sucking the top and tip, lapping my tongue around it as I bob up and down, fast and hard. His legs start to shake, and his hands reach around and grasp the bedding, my hair, handfuls of my flesh …
“Keep going,” he always says.
And I always do.
Nothing.
Always just nothing.
We just carry on, him shaking, me sucking, on and on and on … until he can’t take it anymore.
“It’s too sensitive, you’re gonna have to stop,” he says.
And I do.
I’m worried about this. Not in an oh-fuck-we’re-over kinda way, but in a why-can’t-I-do-this kinda way. I know he told me that other women have had the same problem, but I’ve NEVER had this problem before. Men have been spinning me the, “I can’t cum in a woman’s mouth” line for years and though I might’ve fallen for it every time, I’ve always successfully managed to make those men cum in my mouth. Or … you know, using it.
But it’s a stupid thing to worry about, I know that. The more I worry about it the more pressure it puts on us, and that’s not going to get either of us where we want to be, is it?
I do have a plan, though.
Maybe I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow … ?
LOOKING FOR MORE NSFW CONTENT? HERE’S A FEW YOU MIGHT ENJOY …
NUDGE, NUDGE
TWO, MAYBE THREE TIMES
BREAK UP WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND, I’M BORED
I know for the longest time I never came with a man at all and when they put pressure on me it made it worse. It made me feel like a failure for not being able to cum for them and with them. What finally worked was a man not saying a word about it but putting me in a position where I had no choice but to relax and just enjoy whatever he was doing to me. He pinned me down and went down on me and he obviously was enjoying himself and making that clear to me!! I came so many times that night with both his tongue and his cock! Another thing he did was turn off the lights and leave us in moonlight with sexy music playing so I would be more comfortable.
I think men and women are really the same in a lot of ways. Take the pressure off of him and just let him relax and see how much you are enjoying his cock. Eventually he will relax enough to cum.
My theory is that men and women who are givers in the bedroom have a harder time with this. I am like that and so is the Professor. He’s never cum during a blowjob before in his life and I suspect its because he is so focused on making the woman cum. I used to be that way with men but then I let go and started allowing myself to relax more and receive rather than worry so much about him. Now I cum a lot more.
Have you tried refusing to suck his cock to the point that is annoys him so much he’ll just be so grateful to have your mouth around it when you eventually do it will feel ridiculously more intense and cumworthy?
Practice rotating your wrist and move transfer the movement to his cock- twist and pull- allows you to increase pressure or go slow.. It may work, it was a great tip from my partner and never failed to work, but every guy is different.. Just my 2 cents worth.. 🙂 xx L
Sex is complicated. His inability to come in your or anyone else’s mouth has nothing to do with you enthusiasm or skill – sexual pleasure is always at the mercy of the brain. The question is not why he’s unable to come in your mouth, he obviously enjoys being with you – it’s why are you so upset about him not coming despite your best efforts. Sexual relationships are not games to be won, they are to be savored, appreciated and enjoyed. If you are so focused on his inability to climax during one specific act, are you both savoring your time together? I love your blog and honesty, but perhaps you might want to consider what is at the bottom of your own motives; that is probably a much more easy thing to figure out and resolve than his inability to climax here. There’s a lesson in here somewhere, and it’s more about you than it is about him.
xoxo,
Simone
I guess it’s the fact that I’ve never struggled before to make a man climax in my mouth. He says its frustrating too because no girl is successful. It’s not enough to destroy our relationship, of course, but it is a niggle that I get a feeling is driving us both mad. Aside from this, our sex life is AMAZING! Thanks for your comments & the reblog!
Reblogged this on Simone Noelle – Erotic Author and commented:
Someone is terribly upset that her lover won’t climax in her mouth. Read Not So Sex in The City’s post and tell me what you think. You can go to her site directly http://notsosexinthecity.wordpress.com/2013/02/19/the-art-of-blowjobs/ and read my comment on her situation.
[…] Reblogged from Not So Sex in the City!: […]
Everyone is different. But thought I would share what I think, maybe it will help.
I guess as mentioned already, even though your desire to please is very nice, loving and sexy.. you shouldn’t take it personally nor as a failure if you couldn’t get him to cum the way you want.
I believe most guys like it when a woman suck on their cocks without using their hands because it looks sexy, it makes them see more action and see their cocks bigger in the mouth of their lovers. But usually sensation-wise hands (especially with the right amount of saliva/lube) can do miracles with your mouth. So I would say that you shouldn’t dismiss the idea of using your hands to stimulate his shaft, experiment with it, even if he said that he doesn’t like it much, he still uses his own hands to jerk off, so it I guess it’s only a matter of finding the right way to stroke him.
Personally, when a woman focuses too much on sucking the head of my cock, I get too sensitive and it gives me this sensation that I am so close to cumming yet I am too sensitive to enjoy it and actually cum. I prefer a 4:1 ratio, four deeper sucks then one hard suck on the head of my cock 😀 of course playing around with that ratio is fun too. Just don’t focus too much on the head (at least for me)
It can be psychological. Due to my line of work, I have met some guys who said that there were times that they couldn’t cum with oral sex even though they wanted it so bad and even fantasized and exploded to the thought of it. And that was because they think it’s “bad” or “disgusting” because of their upbringing.
Suggest that he closes his eye and think about something that he wants, a fantasy, even say it to you out loud (which might be hot for you too). He can even watch porn while you are sucking him. Or try 69 (that’s a win-win). Just things that can totally take his mind off the act and just leave him with the sensation of your mouth around him.
Finally, try mutual masturbation. Masturbate with him as you two watch each other, let him tell you when he is about to cum, tell him that you want his cum in your mouth. or maybe tell him that you want it on your tits and then guide him to your mouth, just to make sure he is not thinking about it and take the pressure off him.
Let us know the updates and happy sucking! 🙂
It’s just so frustrating! Thanks for all of your comments though, I will definitely try a few of them. The worst of it is, everything that people have commented on here, we have tried. He has watched porn, we have mutually masturbated, (that’s actually what causes the first almost-cuming in my mouth before)…. It’s annoying because everything that has worked with guys before, and I know they aren’t all the same so I know the importance of mixing it up, doesn’t work. It’s fun trying though and I certainly won’t give up. I just really want to be the girl that makes him cum in her mouth…. I really want to be the first girl that makes him do that, you know? Is that silly?
Thanks so much for your comment, much appreciated as always! Can’t wait to see him… It’s going to be so much fun hahaha! 🙂
Personally, I like the hands to be used in coordination with the mouth. So I am surprised to hear of two men who don’t like the feel of that. We are all unique it seems.
He has a block. It has happened to me. Theories: 1) It might be because he respects you too much and subconsciously views that as disrespectful (sort of Madonna Whore complex with oral). 2) He might subconsciously think of the fact you’ve done it with other men and it mind-fucks him. This is healthy jealous though because it means he is in to you. [do not mention this!] 3) You two may have put so much pressure on your selves that he is now too uptight to do it. ie, thinking about it too much.
Once you get over the hump a few times it won’t be an issue.
IDEAS:
1) Put on some porn while you are doing it.
2) Do you know how to look up and make eye contact with him while the dick is in your mouth? That is big for many of us…
3) Do you make supportive noises while you are doing it? (like an affirmative ‘uh-ha’)
4) At the right time do you say “let it go baby” or “please fill my mouth up” or something along those lines?
5) Tried 69?
6) Have you intercourse and then at the last minute switched to oral right before he climaxes? (Be sure to tell him you like to taste yourself. If he is naughty he will like that).
7) Can you make him cum with a handjob? If so get him to the brink and then switch on him.
* For #6 & #7 it should be a surprise switch without warning so he never has time to think about it.
8) Tie him up and blindfold him. Make him sit back and relax and listen to you. In a soft voice tell him a detailed fantasy of yours. That you want to watch another woman give him a BJ. Walk him through the fantasy in titillating detail. Even if you are lying tell him how much it turns you on to watch her suck him. Tell him how back you want to watch him cum in/on her. Make him tell you how bad he want that and then make him think about the other woman sucking him when you go down on him. That may help him get over his mental block.
Just some ideas! Sex is very much personal preference, but I think it is awesome that you put thought into trying to please him. A lucky man.
Wow that was an epic comment! Loved it!
I do make affirmative noises, and I have used a mixture of hands and no hands. We’ve even tried fucking and then switching it up at the last minute…. And no the handjob doesn’t work either. It even takes him forever to cum when he is jerking off while I’m in the room. I suggested watching porn as we do it and he said he doesn’t want to because he wants to enjoy what he has in front of him… Which I’m assuming is me 🙂
I take forever to get ready in the morning and he has started doing this super awesome thing where he secretly jerks off while I’m doing my thing and getting ready. When he is ready to cum, he says my name so that when I look around, I notice he is jerking off and wander over for him to cum in my mouth. I’ve cottoned on now and I know he’s jerking off, but I pretend not to notice. Even when he jerks off it seems to take him a long time, porn or otherwise. He doesn’t like listening to the noises of porn either, he just watches so its not even as if I can put it on as back ground noise. He’s an odd one that’s for sure and I do love a good challenge. I’ve also asked him to cum in my mouth mid-BJ and fuck… I’m starting to think that maybe it is something in his head, although he protests this. And he loves it when I look up at him when sucking him off. He says I have this massive innocent eyes and he loves it. You have presented some good ideas though. I haven’t tied him up yet… I may try this when he comes back down my way. Only 8 sleeps to wait…
Once again, thanks for your super awesome comment. I shall keep trying, that’s for sure, and of course I will be sure to tell you my tales.
🙂
Ok. Just found your blog. Amazing to say the least. So based on some reading ive been doing and the fact i have never sucked my guy of 10 years to completion I need to know how to suck. I do tend to scrape my teeth. And gag. What’s the secret ? I really want to suprise him.