So…. I was watching Sex and the City this evening. You know the one – Carrie’s father-figure editor guy from Vogue gives her the old ‘your daddy run away so now you’re looking for a father figure‘ speech. It got me thinking. My daddy left when I was barely six months old, so am I technically looking for a ‘father figure’ myself?
I looked back at all the guys I’ve dated and I’m trying to find a pattern. Something that links them all…. Are they all father figures?
Do I even have a pattern at all?
The guy I’m with now (good sex, bad foreplay guy); he looks after me. He holds my hand when I cross the road, never makes me walk the road-side of the path, holds my shopping bags, buys me drinks…. This doesn’t make him a father figure though, right? Surely that just makes him a gentleman?
The guy before him, Big Love… the one I moved to the other side of the world for; he totally looked after me. Not so much towards the end of course, we’d still be together if that were the case. He was most definitely my father figure regardless of how much I would rather think otherwise.
The guy before him, the one I married, The Hubby, he was just an asshole. An abusive, cheating, asshole of a man. No, not even man, a child. He was most definitely not my father figure. He couldn’t have looked after me if he had tried. He was just a dick.
I could go on like this forever. Seriously, I’ve dated a lot of guys. I realised during my musings that my guys all have a few things in common:
*they were all arrogant
*they would all totally ‘save’ me in a zombie apocalypse
*they were all father-figurey in one way or another
I have come to the conclusion that yes, I’m looking for a guy that will take care of me. This doesn’t mean I want a father figure though, it just means I want a gentleman. Now if only these ‘gentleman‘ didn’t have so many personality defects, messed up childhoods, or just turned into plain and simple assholes (not that I’m bitter), some of those relationships might actually have worked…