Today I Miss …
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Read MoreTag: masturbation
Wandering Hands
I have a question: If my boyfriend is that disinterested in sex that we’re not having any of it [again], how come I keep waking up in the middle of the night with his hands down my pants? Last night, for example. This morning, actually. 4:38 am, according to the clock. I found myself risen from my slumber, still in the dark, roused by something that was nice and annoying all at once. It took me a few moments to work out what it was: Bear’s hands. Bear’s hands rubbing…
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Under the Lights
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You Couldn’t Wait
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How Good Was Your Wank Today?
Right, come on guys and girls. Let’s have a show of hands here, shall we? How often do you genuinely masturbate? Wank? Jerk off? Choke the chicken? Whatever you like to call it – how often are you doing it? And how are you doing it? I had a conversation with a male friend (as always) this afternoon, and he told me that was soooo horny, he had already masturbated three times that day. Now, I appreciate that I was off to a running start with my two wanks, but…
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The Art of Blowjobs: A Plan
Following on from The Art of Blowjobs. I have a plan. One more serious attempt before I give up and accept the fact that my mouth is never going to make One Ball cum. I have an outfit that I know he’s going to love. And by love I mean, *fucking* love. A black sweater dress, figure-hugging, with heeled boots that sit just over my knee. They’d probably be knee-high on anyone else, but I’ve got short little legs that make knee-high boots actually sit just above the knee. Like,…
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Meet Number 24: The Older Guy
As I typed his name into the Facebook search box, I knew it was a bad idea. But I did it anyway. Just like I clicked on his face when I found his profile knowing it was a bad idea, and sent him a message. “I was just talking about you the other day. Thought I’d have a little Facebook stalk to see if you were around – and here you are! How are you? It’s been a really long time. I hope you’re well!” I’m such a fucking moron.…
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Wank-a-Holics Anonymous.
I haven’t had sex in two weeks. [One Ball, obviously.] Two weeks and two days if you want me to get really exact about things. I’m such a frustrated little bunny today. Super frustrated. Like a walking erection but with a vagina. That doesn’t even make sense, does it? Meh. Whatever. I’m SUPER frustrated. I’m used to going without sex for weeks at a time. I was an Army WAG to start with and that meant going without sex for four or six months at a time, sometimes. Plus I…
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