Bear My Dating Life 

What is Love?

  It’s buying me a coffee and a blueberry muffin with the last few quid you have in your pocket just because you know I’ll really appreciate it for breakfast. It’s buying you a new guitar even though it’s ridiculously expensive and totally out of my price range, just because I know you’ll treasure it forever and tell me it’s the best gift you’ve ever received. It’s putting the kettle on every time I get that text that says, “Honey, I’m on my way home” and spending five minutes furiously…

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Jock My Dating Life 

Beautiful Penis, Complicated Relationship Status.

Weird things are happening and I don’t like it at all. I want my Jock back. My Beautiful Tattooed Jock. I need him back. I want my silverback gorilla! 🙁 Geek Boy… Well. I’m not really sure where to start. Things started to get very hot despite the fact I was trying to make the conversation somewhat platonic as I’m still mourning for my last relationship. He sent me a penis picture. In fact, he’s now sent me two penis pictures. Holy fucking shit. He’s the biggest thing I’ve ever…

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Jock My Dating Life 

Here We Go Again. 

So. The fucking Ex. She’s back. Jock and I had been sailing along just splendidly for a while. Well, not exactly splendidly but we were doing OK. To be fair, nothing exciting had happened in a while. It was inevitable that something would go to shit. It just had to be her didn’t it. Fuck I hate her. I don’t get what this woman’s problem is. Honestly. There is no fucking need for this bullshit. She’s like a petulant child. It’s ridiculous. Apparently, two weeks ago when Jock and I…

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NSFW / Sex Sex Tips 

If She Shaves Her Bikini Line For You, You’d Better Put Out!

Right guys – this is something you NEED to know. If the woman in your life shaves her legs or bikini line for you, and you don’t put out, you’re a fucking idiot. My other half is a great guy but he’s pretty dumb sometimes. For example, if you’re a regular follower of my blog, you’ll know he has a habit of expecting/waiting for me to get primped and preened, present myself to him baby smooth and smelling of roses, and falling asleep on me before any nookie has a…

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Jock My Dating Life 

Dating a Man With Kids…

Actually wrote this a couple of days ago (before the fight) but forgot to post it. Shan’t waste it! 😉 Is it actually possible to be a bit jealous of an eight year old child? It’s a question I’ve been thinking about for a while, but I know the sort of reaction I’ll get when I talk about it. You knew Jock had a daughter when you first started dating him… She’s a child… How can you be jealous of a child…?! The chick on the end of the wrath…

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NSFW / Sex Sex Tips 

How Good Was Your Wank Today?

Right, come on guys and girls. Let’s have a show of hands here, shall we? How often do you genuinely masturbate? Wank? Jerk off? Choke the chicken? Whatever you like to call it – how often are you doing it? And how are you doing it? I had a conversation with a male friend (as always) this afternoon, and he told me that was soooo horny, he had already masturbated three times that day. Now, I appreciate that I was off to a running start with my two wanks, but…

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Things Girls Think About When Her Bloke Goes Down On Her

I came across a pretty funny post on the Lad Bible on Facebook. In fact, Bestie shoved it down my face like he does with so many of their funny and sometimes quite offensive posts. 14 Things Blokes Think When Going Down On Women was the post in question, and it prompted quite the response from me! 😉 1 – Yes… you should have looked up “clitoris” before you started working away on it. Well, about an inch away from it. Look it up, make sure you know what it…

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I Wore The Dress.

You may remember that I recently mentioned a dress that I had bought to attend an engagement party with the Bestie. Well, I wore the dress at the party. It had the desired effect. Every guy that saw me did a double take. The guys that I had known for years but hadn’t seen in a long time couldn’t believe it was me. You should have seen my transformation. I used to be a chubby, size 16, 5 ft 5 busty blonde. Well, I’d say a size 14 really but…

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I Bought a Dress.

So guys and girls, I’ve bought this dress. The Bestie I’ve Never Had a Dalliance With and I are going to a party Saturday night. We are heading out to celebrate the engagement of two of our friends. It’s a pretty smart affair; Bestie has bought a new pair of shoes, trousers and a tie for the affair. I bought a new dress. I need to talk about this dress. I don’t know why this dress has affected me quite so much but I’m pretty sure this is my “coming…

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Emotional Hoarding: The Hubby’s Letter

In a previous post (The Nation of (Emotional) Hoarders), I talk about the little things that we keep from past lovers – all those love letters and mementos of the romantic and adorable times you had together. I mentioned a letter that my Hubby had sent me, apologising for punching me in the face. I have decided to publish that letter. Brave? Or stupid? I kept the letter for all this time in case our divorce got messy. The divorce we still haven’t gotten started on yet. Eye roll. Anyway, this is…

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