7+ years of my life in very graphic detail. Dating | sex | mental health | life blog. Frequently #NSFW 18+
I have no longer ‘relapsed’. I am ‘relapsing’. I know I’m doing it. I also know it’s probably a very bad idea. I’m doing it anyway. The Director. He’s back, for a while it seems. He asked me to help him with the business stuff. You know, the stuff he ‘found someone else’ for? The thing that lead to our split? Yeah, that. Obviously the only response to this would be to tell him to fuck right off. Well, you’d think. Instead, like a total cunt, I said yes. Why?…
Read MoreI made a boo-boo. Well, not so much a boo-boo as a huge fucking error of judgement. I text The Director. After 16 days of zero communication, I was doing so well. And then came the relapse. It came thinly veiled as a favour. He told he wanted a specific car while we were dating so I asked a man who would know about such things if he could keep an eye out. The man who knows about such things sent me a text which I should pass on to…
Read MoreWhen I looked at that pregnancy test the other day and read the negative result, a huge part of me was one hundred percent relieved. Relieved that I hadn’t found out I was up the duff just 24 hours after I broke up with yet another chapter in my failed love life. However there was quite a large part of me was that felt something else towards that test… Something completely the opposite to relief. Disappointment. In every sense, I’m not ready to have a baby. I’m a failing-at-life almost-30…
Read MoreRight… I’m apparently having a hard time getting over the whole Director situation. For a guy I didn’t see that often, talk to much or was with for very long, he seems to have made quite the impact. I’m pining a little. It’s all quite embarrassing really. Coincidentally (and I’m totally taking it as a sign) I’ve released my little eBook. (Eeeeek!) It’s a guide to breaking up, one that I totally stand by too. But if I’m so sure the tips and tricks I suggest in the book will…
Read MoreYesterday was a shit day. I broke up with The Director. I was sick the entire day. I felt very sorry for myself. More annoyed by the breakup than I thought I would be and a little more hurt than I gave myself credit for too, the day just sucked. By the time 10pm came around, I was ready to say goodbye so I took a couple of sleeping pills, smoked a doobie and hoped to doze off into the world of nod. I did, for a couple of hours,…
Read MoreWow… I woke up to an ANGRY man. It seems I’ve upset The Director. What a shame. I’m angry too. In fact, I win the angry battle. I had so many things I wanted to say to his shitty 8am rebuttal but there’s no point. I don’t want to talk to him, he doesn’t want to hear from me. I’ll vent my frustrations here instead. I knew he’d be angry. Waking up to the, “You’re ditched” message is never nice but when did he expect me to do it? And…
Read MoreI’m such a cunt. Sorry for the expletives but I might as well set the tone nice and early. There I was tapping out a few hundred words of how I was stuck in the middle of two men – The Director and The Dom and there he was not giving a shit. The Director I mean, not The Dom. We’ve barely spoken. He was on the stag do and he’s going to be busy all week. And then there’s the wedding next weekend. And all next week he has…
Read MoreFUUUUUUUCK! I FINALLY plucked up some balls to tell The Director what I wanted to say to him and what did he go and do? He went and fought for me. A lot harder than I’d actually given him credit for. “I kinda hoped we’d have a chance to talk this week but we’ve both been super busy! I like you a lot, and I’ve had a lot of fun with you but it feels like we keep flatlining. You’re a really busy guy and I’m busy too but…
Read MoreThe Director and I are pretty much over but I don’t know how to tell him. That’s pretty much the long and short of it. We’ve barely spoken the last couple of days. In fact we’ve sent no more than ten text messages to each in 72 hours. That’s not right. We’re meant to be dating. Aren’t we? This happened once before. We barely spoke for a few days and then we had this great big chat where he told me he felt we had flatlined and he didn’t want…
Read MoreErm…. So Someone New sent me a message last night. On Instagram too, bizarrely. I don’t know why he messaged me on there, I don’t think we’ve ever sent each other a message on there before. I didn’t even know you could direct message. I learn something new every day! I’m guessing he deleted my number, that’s probably why he sent me that message on Instagram. He said I’d popped up on his feed and he hoped my tests went OK. Yeah, right, I know the real reason he got…
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