Bear Me & My Opinions My Dating Life 

Rudeness.

Rudeness … I can’t stand it. I hate it when people are rude to me because I don’t think I’m rude to anyone at all. I say nice things to people who serve me in shops, always wishing them a great day, please, thank you, all the rest of it. I tip people, even those who don’t deserve to be tipped. I smile at people because I like it when people smile at me. You could say that I live in my own little world, my own happy little bubble. I quite like it here. You lot should join me sometime.

But yesterday, I came across a woman so shockingly rude I actually thought I was making it up. It was one of Bear’s clients (isn’t it always?) and she was a real bitch. She’d arrived with her boyfriend and one of the first things she told me was that she’d recently lost a baby. She told me over and over again. About 54 times in two hours, to be exact. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for sharing one’s pain, but there is such a thing as too much. I wanted to say, “Please stop talking.” Instead, I said, “I’m sorry” over and over again. Because what else can I say? I can’t empathise with her. I lost a baby, but I didn’t know I was pregnant. I’m also glad that the situation resolved itself in the way it did. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that, but that’s how I feel. That’s exactly how I feel. I don’t feel her pain. But I do understand that she’s hurting. I’m sorry that she’s hurting.

It was another Alpha-Female situation and one that I wasn’t prepared to go into again. I don’t really know why she was Alpha-Female’ing me at all, if I’m honest, seeing as I was with my fella and she was with hers. That’s the only reason I was there: Bear and her fella thought we might get on quite well. In fact, her fella even said that. She replied with a sarcastic laugh and a snort.

In theory, we probably would have gotten along quite well but her chavvy lip piercing put me off the second she walked in the door and her even chavvier voice finished off the job. We seemed to have a few things in common from what her guy and my guy were saying. Not that she would know that; she didn’t let me finish a single sentence. Just like the other Alpha Female bitch, everything was all about her.

I was only half paying attention so things didn’t really get to me as much as they had done the last time one of Bear’s female clients was downright rude to me. Bear picked up on it, though. He mouthed, “Are you okay?” to me a few times throughout our time there with the couple, and I couldn’t work out why he kept asking. It wasn’t until later when he said, “She was being a real bitch to you. That’s why I kept asking if you were okay. I was going to say something but you didn’t seem to care.” 

In reality, I didn’t notice. I was doing work stuff, and her presence was nothing more than a slight irritation. She started to annoy me a little when she hummed along to Ed Sheeran, both out of time and out of tune, but I just turned the volume up a little more in my headphones and went back to pretending she didn’t exist.

It was after the couple had left that I realised just how rude she actually had been, with Bear filling me in on all the things I’d missed. He’d picked up on her sarcastic snort and laugh when her fella had suggested we might become friends. He also noticed that she didn’t let me finish a single sentence. He pointed out a few other things, too. She sat with her back to me the entire time she was there. Even when she was talking at me (vaguely), she still didn’t turn to look at me. She just looked at Bear or her boyfriend. At one point, he even said that she scowled while I was talking. I held my hand out to her when I first met her and I thought she hadn’t seen it, but Bear said she had. The same happened when she left: her fella grabbed my hand and shook it warmly but she tried to ignore it again. I wasn’t having it that time, though, because I’m a genuinely warm and open person. Plus, fuck her. I took her hand and I shook it.

“It was lovely to meet you, I hope all goes well with you both.” 

I didn’t really try to engage in a conversation with her, mostly because I was working, but also because I’d long since figured out she wasn’t a person I would want in my social circle. According to Bear, she just made bitchy remarks. Some of which he thought might have been directed at me.

I didn’t get it. I was nice, I said hi, I offered to make drinks, I smiled, I let them get on with it … What did I do wrong to her?

Bear thinks she was used to being the “Alpha Female” in the room whenever they got together. It was always her, her fella, and Bear before. Not me. That’s always the way it went. And now, all of a sudden, there’s a new girl in the room. Her fella laughed at all my jokes. Not in a pervy way, but in a genuinely nice and friendly way. We actually got on quite well and he asked questions about some of the things I do. Bear got the impression she didn’t enjoy me talking to him much and, somehow, whenever I was talking with him, the conversation would turn to her and then end.

She just seemed really miserable. I put it down to her recent bad news but Bear said she’s like it all the time. Her fella is a genuinely lovely bloke, probably too lovely for his own good, and she’s … well, she’s a real bulldog. She orders him around. Not in a sexual, playful way, but in a real, ordering-around kinda way. Even I saw that with the brief interest I paid towards them as a couple.

I just don’t understand why someone would hate on me like that before they’d even gotten the chance to get to know me, though. I thought something was off about her, but even with her pain and suffering was it really right that she acted like that towards me? So bitchily? On MY territory? I didn’t Alpha-Female her in any way, shape or form, so why did she feel the need to Alpha-Female me? I didn’t even have real makeup on. And I hadn’t done my hair. That’s how un-bothered I was by their appearance in my life. So why was I such a big deal to her? Why was she fine towards Bear, slightly bossy towards her boyfriend, and an absolute twatbag to me? For Bear to have said something to me, she must have been a real twatbag. I guess I should start paying more attention?

Anyway, just a little rant I wanted to have. Women really don’t seem to like me much. I don’t get it. I’m a really nice person. I’m sure of it.

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