Matching Facebook accounts. Let’s just talk about that for a second, shall we? I seem to find that more and more couples are opting for a joint social media presence these days. I’m having a hard time coming up with reasons why someone would think this was a good idea. I can think of a hundred and one reasons why it would be a bad idea though. Let’s start with some of those.
There was that one couple I commented on, on Twitter a while back. From the Insta-rants, I gathered that someone had stirred up some shit about one or both of them, and the couple had joined forces and come together, deleting all traces of their former single Instagram accounts and moving forward with a joint venture.
Do you know what that says to me? One of them cheated. Or there were, at least, reports that one of them cheated. And is there ever really smoke without the slightest hint of a little fire? No. Not usually. Now I’m wondering which one did it. And for the record, that’s what I think when I come across EVERY joint / couple social media account too. One of them cheated … ? Who was the more likely culprit?
That’s the first bad thing about a joint Facebook account …
- Reasons why a joint Facebook account is bad #1: People are going to judge you and your relationship. They are also going to assume that one of you cheated, or almost cheated. Or he / she denied it and you were stupid enough to believe it.
I know you shouldn’t care what people think of you, but if you want to live your relationship out on social media like that … well, that’s what you get. We’re all invested if we’ve liked one of your couple-based posts. We want to know how you break up, if it happens, like, every little detail. If you want us to “invest” in your relationship with our ‘likes’ and smiley faces, we’re invested when it comes to one or both of you playing away.
And before you ask, yes, I’m just as bad. I live my relationship out on social media just like everybody else. There are #coupleselfies and #love posts galore these days. I guess you could say I’m happy. But airing my dirty linen? No. No thanks. You won’t find any evidence of a fight on my social media pages. There are no signs of a breakdown, no bitchy quotes. That’s not what I’m about. I post only the happy shit on my social media pages. I would be mortified if the people I was ‘friends’ with knew about something as damaging as an infidelity.
(*That’s just me.)
But a joint Facebook account – why are you taking someone’s personal freedom away like that? And what’s the point? You can’t stop someone cheating on you by taking away their privacy. In fact, I’m going to make that my second point.
- Reasons why a joint Facebook account is bad #2: You can’t stop someone cheating on you by taking away their privacy.
It just doesn’t work. Take away his Facebook messenger and all he’ll do is find another way to cheat on you. He’ll just go back to good ol’ fashioned meeting chicks in the bar instead. Either that or he’ll just find another messenger service. Or a secret infidelity phone. Seriously, I’ve seen and heard it all over the years. Not only have I been screwed over multiple times by men who do things just like that – buy a second phone for the sake of being able to chat up other women – but I also have a very close relationship with a lot of my male friends. Or, at least, I did have during the years where they were banging anything with a pulse. The things I’ve heard … let’s just say that I’ve been repulsed by these cretins on more than one occasion.
*Or her. Obviously. Wrongly, I just assume it would be “him” that cheated. I can be so shockingly sexist by accident sometimes. Please accept my apologies.
I was having a good ol’ root through the ‘people you may know’ on Facebook today, which is basically a list of men who didn’t make the cut for me. The Director is on there, both of his accounts, as well as the Courier-Guy with the flat ass and fart issues. But then I saw someone else too, someone who I hadn’t spotted on my ‘people you may know’ list before. The Take Me to the Woods Guy! Also known as Number 25.
He’s with the same girl he cheated on with me, 8 / 9 years ago. They have babies now, but she was pregnant when we were doing our thing. I literally had no shame back then. My husband may have been an abusive skank, but I was definitely no angel. Not that I’m proud of it, of course, but sometimes I amaze myself with my own levels of sluttiness. I wouldn’t be seen dead doing that now. And by that, I mean Number 25 and my husband. I wouldn’t touch either of them with a barge pole. I’m struggling to find reasons why I did back then too.
But they have a joint Facebook account now – Number 25 and his wife. I wonder if she knows about the other Facebook account he has? The one without the profile picture that he used to message me about a year or so back? I’ve had a sneaky peek and the account is still active. Everything is private, no pictures, and his name is spelled wrong so she can’t find it, but it’s there. I wonder if she knows about it. I wonder if she knows he’s still chasing women behind her back, and he’s probably still sleeping with other women behind her back too. What a scumbag. They’ve been together over ten years now. They have two or three babies together.
- Reasons why a joint Facebook account is bad #3: Your partner will probably just have a secret Facebook account you don’t know about anyway.
I just can’t understand why you’d think a joint Facebook account would be solving the problem here. Surely it would just cause more problems than it solves? Everyone misinterprets stuff from time to time, and it would surely only be a matter of time before you saw something totally innocent that you read the wrong way? That’s just a lesson in losing friends right there, and boyfriends too. Plus, what’s the point in worry about an infidelity that hasn’t happened yet? And if it has happened, you probably should have kicked him (or her) to the kerb. If he / she hasn’t cheated yet, or you “believe” he /she hasn’t cheated yet, there’s no need for a joint account and all those trust issues … Right?
Wait, I forgot to list the points.
- Reasons why a joint Facebook account is bad #4: One of you WILL misinterpret / misread a totally innocent text sent to the other. It WILL result in a fight.
- Reasons why a joint Facebook account is bad #5: What’s the point in worry about a cheating incident that *hasn’t* happened yet?
- Reasons why a joint Facebook account is bad #6: If you don’t trust him enough to let him have his own Facebook account, you probably shouldn’t be together.
In short, if you have a joint Facebook account with your other half, there’s a good chance I’m laughing at you. I’m also wondering a few things. Why would you stay with someone who cheated? If you can’t trust that they won’t do it again, you shouldn’t be together. Joint social media accounts solve nothing.
I’m also judging you. I’m judging you for taking him / her back after they treated you so badly. Alternatively, I’m judging you for being batshit crazy. This is for you if you’re demanding a joint account because you have trust issues. You can’t take away someone’s freedom and privacy just because you *think* they might have cheated on you. That’s ridiculous, and actually a little cruel.
I have never had a joint Facebook account with anyone in my life, and I can tell you this much for free, there’s no chance of me doing it in the future. There’s no way I would give someone the satisfaction of *thinking* they have that much of a personal insight into my life. And by “someone”, I mean anyone. By having a joint account, that just tells people he cheated on me (or I cheated on him), and I really can’t stand airing out my dirty laundry like that. I also wouldn’t want a partner of mine to think it would be okay to go snooping through my messages. Trust me or don’t trust me. I’m not cheating on you. I’ve never given you a reason to think otherwise. Show me some respect.
I guess, after all that, I’m just saying that it’s a bad idea. There’s my judgement and my opinions, although I do welcome alternative arguments in the comments below. If you have a joint Facebook account with your other half, please tell me the reasons why you do below. I’d honestly love to know, and definitely if it’s not for any of the reasons I listed above.
But yeah, those are my views – joint Facebook / social media pages are BAD.
Peace out ✌