Following on with the little book of lists, I’ve come to a list of my best dates. Now, before I start I feel I should tell you that I’m no conventional girl. Expensive restaurants with flowers, candles and dim lighting just doesn’t do it for me. I’m much more a mid-afternoon date kinda gal – coffee and cake, walking and talking, and if all goes well, we’ll figure out something else to do later on after dark. And no, on a first date, I don’t mean *THAT*.
I love dates that aren’t very date-like at all. Over the years I’ve realised what symbolises a good date for me – I forget about time completely, and I don’t think about grabbing my phone. That’s how I know it’s been a great date, and the ones that last for hours without me even realising are the best ones by far in my book.
The best date I’ve ever been has got to be one of my more recent ones, and I know you guys all hate him, but it’s Brown Eyes. That date will always go down as one of the best first dates in history as far as I’m concerned, and mostly for the fact that we just instantly clicked. And I mean like nothing else I’ve ever felt before. It was instant – the second I said hello to him and looked in his eyes, the attraction, spark, chemistry, whatever it was, hit me like a tonne of bricks. Boom. I was in love. I didn’t think I believed in love at first sight, but I reckon he was as close as I’m ever gonna get.
He took me to a pub and we both had non-boozy drinks. We chatted and laughed and the conversation flowed so freely, it wasn’t long before we were on our second glass of Diet Coke and a little light smooching had started to happen. In fact, fuck the little light smooching, we made out and we didn’t give a fuck who saw.
It wasn’t the pub or the making out that made it special though. It wasn’t even the instant chemistry and attraction. It was just the fact that everything felt so comfortable and easy. It felt like I’d already known him my entire life, like there was nothing I couldn’t say to him. He made me roar with laughter. And I mean really roar, to the point where I thought I could actually pee my pants from laughing so hard.
And then he got me stoned on the swings and I’ll admit it, I fell in love right there and then. It was like he could see into my head, like he knew what to say, how to say it, and what to do, all at the same time. It was as though I was transparent to him.
I wasn’t even sure I found him that attractive. Even now, when I look at him, I’m not sure he’s the kind of man who would’ve caught my eye in a bar. He’s tall, covered in tattoos, and dark-haired, dark-eyed so clearly he was exactly my type, but he’s older and he looks older too. Not that I mind that either. But … I don’t know what it is, what it was. It’s like I was drawn to him. Like I couldn’t keep away from him. And I didn’t want to. Have you ever felt like that?
I’ve been blessed with my fair of great dates over the years, and I’m thankful for that. My first date with Brown Eyes was great, but my third date with Jock is up there among the best of them. He took me camping and we fucked for the first time. The rain pattering down on the tent just made everything so much more romantic, and there was music and the crackling sound of the dying fire too. He’d put fairy lights around, and also provided the boozy refreshments for the evening (Budweiser). In short, it was amazing. Beyond amazing. I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing it was. So amazing I didn’t even realise he had a tiny penis. I mean, of course I realised, but it didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t a big deal. It didn’t matter in the slightest.
Every date I had with Big Love was amazingly special too, but our first date was just cups of tea and chit-chats in the desert. We met in a war zone so it was never going to be the most conventional of stories, but I’ll just say this – we came under rocket attack on three out of our five first dates and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I should probably talk a little more about our story. You’d never believe half of it. If we’d have lasted, that love story would have been a best-seller.
I didn’t really bother with the dating game so much when I was younger, and I regret that now. I had a tendency of meeting people in the various bars and pubs I worked in, and also co-workers of various jobs along the way. Most of the get-togethers were alcohol related – we’d get drunk, fool around, probably have sex and end up getting together. It wasn’t until I got a bit older, post-marriage, that I decided it was a much better strategy to make the guy wait and actually date. Not that it’s gotten me any closer to my happy ever after but hey, a girl’s gotta try everything right?
Looking back, I can barely remember going on dates with the men I ended up in relationships with. I didn’t really start dating until I lived on the other side of the world. Before that, I’d always had the next guy ‘lined up’. That sounds so horrid when I say it, and it certainly wasn’t planned to be that way, but it’s just the way it happened. And then I hit my mid-twenties and it didn’t happen so much. That’s when I started dating – when I started writing this blog.
But dating, dates, first dates – they’re not so bad. I’ve had some shit ones, don’t get me wrong, but all those shit first dates are forgotten when you have that amazing first date with someone you really click with. And isn’t that the point – aren’t bad dates meant to educate you? Aren’t they meant to teach you something? Perhaps what you don’t like about a man, or what behaviour you’re definitely not comfortable with? I wish I’d given dating much more of a chance when I was younger and could get away with all the stupid ones. If I tell a 35-45 year old man (my dating pool) that I want to go to the zoo on our first date, he looks at me like I’m a child. To be fair, he probably isn’t that far off.
But dates are fun, even the bad ones. They give us something to talk about, something to write about in some cases, and they always provide us with a little lesson. Even if we don’t know what it is at the time. My past relationships may not have worked – those amazing great dates may have been for nothing – but they were lots of fun and I wouldn’t change any of them, good or bad, for all the tea in China.
Now tell me about your great dates! Call it a blog chain letter! 😉
Tag, you’re it.
**Side note: This was written before my amazing first date with Bear. You can read all about our eight-hour jolly in the Big City here: Bear.