I’ve tried to avoid my laptop today because I’m feeling a tad on the fragile side but I’m starting to get a little angry about this Twitter scandal I’ve accidentally found myself in. There appears to be this torrent of hatred towards me and the blog post I wrote which is fair enough, but stuff has started to get personal now. The blogger I was upset about upsetting, the blogger who I respected, the blogger who’s blog I read and actually agreed with, well she’s starting to look like a little bit of a hypocrite. That’s really not cool.
I agree that using the word “slut” probably wasn’t the smartest choice but it’s a word I’ve never really found that offensive. The word “whore”, now that really upsets me. That word upsets me a whole bunch. That word has a nasty heap of memories associated with the Hubby and if someone were to call me that, it would make me cry. I wouldn’t want to make someone else cry by using that word so that for that, I’m sorry.
I apologise, and have apologised publicly I must add, for using that word. I also doubted myself and everything I’m about for a while which I’m a little annoyed about. But my job offers constant learning and I’ve now learned that word isn’t a good word to use. It causes a lot of controversy. I decided to look up the dictionary definition.
- Disparaging and offensive. A sexually promiscuous woman, or a woman who behaves or dresses in an overtly sexual way.
- Informal. A person with a seemingly insatiable appetite but often undiscerning desire to do or have something specified: guilty of being a shoe slut; a book slut, reading five books at once.
a prostitute; harlot
b. an immoral or dissolute woman
a dirty, slovenly woman
I guess technically we’re both right. There’s no right and wrong in this situation. With the likes of Amber Rose using the term regularly (which I like and applaud on Instagram as well as woo-hoo-ing her campaign), I figured it wasn’t that offensive a word. I explained myself already in the last post.
I have absolutely no right to comment on a ‘sexually promiscuous woman’ although I’m sure I have done in my lifetime. But if we’re talking sluts, I’m no angel in any sense of the word. I embrace my inner ‘sexually promiscuous woman’. And my inner shoe slut for that matter.
I’m not here to bash women. I’m here to tell people about my experiences and what I think I’ve learned from them. That’s all subject to change. I’m a human being. I make mistakes, massive ones, huge rippers. I’m a total twatbag. I hold my hands up to that and have done a hundred times. But I beat myself up about that enough as I’m sure many other women out there do too. I’m not here to give women a hard time. I’m here to share my experiences in the same way that everyone else is. Except I apologise when I offend people.
You see, this is what irritates me. I’m all for open discussion and although I’m easily upset by internet trolls, I try to take it the best I can, letting myself calm down before commenting and letting my true inner crazy bitch free. But this chick had her say and then kept going. She got personal. She started saying disrespectful and rude things and that was before she and her ‘crew’ tried to start the Twitter-trend. I’m a woman… Isn’t that total woman bashing? The very thing she’s accusing me of?
You see, in the post she wrote, she didn’t give a link to the original article which I always thought was bad practice in the blogging world. In the angry, ranting posts I’ve written along the way, I’ve always credited the original article no matter how much it pissed me off. But it’s fine, I let that one slide. She’s pissed at me. Thats cool.
But it kinda only gives half the story doesn’t it? This chick doesn’t know me and neither do the people following her hate-train which is literally what it has now become. I’ve never really dealt with this kind of internet hatred before so I’m not really sure how to deal with it but I’m pretty sure linking back to it is just going to aggravate the situation. If she wants me to link I will but for now, I probably won’t… Lol. *Hides*
But these women don’t know me. They didn’t know what was coming next. They don’t know what my full reasons were for the things I wrote and they won’t. I’ve decided not to write / publish them. I’m not a glutton for punishment. One round of hatred is enough to knock me out. But these women have no clue about me, what I’m about, who I am. I bet none of them even looked at me, my page, my blog, anything. It’s fine, hate away. But you can’t insult me without really knowing me. That’s actual woman-bashing. That makes you a bit of a hypocrite.
She called me a “div” in one of her tweets. I don’t really like that word much. I didn’t like that. I decided to look that word up too. What I found was quite ironic.
Probably shortened and changed from deviant – differing from a norm or from the accepted standards of a society, a person whose behaviour, esp sexual behaviour, deviates from what is considered to be acceptable.
Originating from prison slang, a ‘div’ was one of the lowest inmates to put cardboard dividers into boxes.
Also used as an insult to those who display stupidity.
She’s insulting me. Insulting me isn’t proving your point, it’s just making you a bully. And by using the word ‘div’, you’re implying you’re better than I am, that I’m lower than you are. I never believed myself to be better or above you, or that any woman should be above or below another. She also reiterated that point when she called me an “inconsequential imbecile”.
Inconsequential – adjective – of little or no importance, insignificant, trivial.
Imbecile – adjective – informal: stupid; silly; absurd, usually offensive: showing mental feebleness of incapacity, archaic: weak or feeble.
Mentally feeble, insignificant, weak, silly, stupid… Hmmmm
I believe that all women should be equal, the same, each allowed their voice, each allowed to have their say, each given the opportunity to share their experiences about whatever the hell they want.
Even ‘sexually promiscuous women’ have feelings too. *Sad face*
I never meant to offend anyone and as soon as I realised I had, I apologised. I held my hands up. The post is still there, go have a read. I explained myself, explained my good intentions, and apologised. The last thing I would want to do is offend anyone especially another woman just trying to make it out there. I hope her tweet-trend makes it big! Although I lost a little bit of respect for her when she started cussing me down, I think her blog is brilliant and the stuff she says should be read by women just like me. You can find the link HERE.
I read her rebuttal. I thought it was awesome. I’m on her side. I wholeheartedly agree that women should have the right to go out and do whatever the fuck they want to do, however, wherever, and whenever they want to do it. Woo hoo! I’m ALL for that! I always have been. However, as one of my followers said, you should be able to leave your doors and windows open without the fear of being robbed but you wouldn’t do it. In a perfect world I wouldn’t feel like I couldn’t wear a little mini skirt or a teeny-tiny dress but we don’t live in a perfect world and I’m not overly confident.
Differing from the norm, deviating from acceptable society…. Well, I’ve never been normal. I’m pretty much accepting of that now. I don’t know if I’d want to be ‘normal’. I don’t even know what normal is. If I did, I wouldn’t have half as many body issues as I do.
You see, I’m just a person. I’m just a girl. I’m learning. Maybe she’s further on in her journey than I am? Who knows? We’re all on our own little journey and I’m learning something new each and every day. I wanted to share my experiences and some advice I’ve learned. Not for the sake of some guy, not for his benefit, but for her – not the tweet-hate girl, the average female reader. Please girls, don’t put yourself in a vulnerable position. And don’t hate each other either. If someone offends you, tell them they’ve offended you. Don’t ‘cuss’ them down all over the internet behind blocked doors.
Be a slut (in WHATEVER sense of the word), be a sexually promiscuous woman, be drunk, be free, be crazy, be emotional, be everything that comes with being a woman, be whatever and whoever you want to be, but please be safe. And be happy! <3
EDIT: After I realised she was STILL bashing me two days later, I linked to her blog. Does that make me a div? Or an imbecile?