So my sordid, complicated love life has just got that little bit more fucking complicated. Of course it has; it wouldn’t be my love life if it hadn’t! For fucks sake. Oh and please excuse the swearing. In fact, don’t. I don’t mean the apology.
Geek Boy is someone I’ve known for about 11 years – he’s one of the Bestie’s good friends. There were three of them – The Chubby One, The Geek Boy, and The Other Guy. I shan’t give him a nickname because he doesn’t really feature that highly. Geek Boy and I tried to start up some kind of relationship when I first left Big Love and came home – we went on a couple of dates and then he pulled a Joey on me! He basically never called me again, like Joey out of ‘Friends’. We went on a couple of dates, all of which were pretty fabulous and then one day I text him and he never returned the message. Fine, I can take a hint. We’ve only been friends for like ten years and all…
It was 1130pm on Monday night when he sent a simple and innocent enough:
“Hey! You are soooooo blonde! :)”
I like a bit of lighthearted banter as much as the next person so I innocently messaged back. It wasn’t long before things started to take a flirtier turn and before I knew it, it was 2am and we were getting a bit risque. He was with someone as far as I was aware. In fact, this is where it gets complicated. Geek Boy is Lapdog’s Girlfriend’s best friend, and he’s dating one of her friends and has been for a couple of years.
“Aren’t you a taken man?” I asked.
“Not entirely…” was his response.
Of course it was. Why else would he have been messaging me? I wasn’t good enough to take it to the next level two years ago… What’s changed all of a sudden? He’s single and clearly wanted a booty call. That’s what I’m taking it as. He asked me if I was single and I responded in the same way – “Not entirely…”
You see, I should have told him where to go but I didn’t. I shall play him at his own game. I’m single now (technically) and I don’t have to behave. I don’t have anyone to answer to. So… I shall continue the flirty banter until he actually asked me out and then I’ll just “Joey” him right back – not return his texts or calls. Let’s see how he likes it right back, shall we?
You see, I think two years ago we both kinda realised that we were both too much in the ‘friend zone’ to ever scramble our way out of it again. I’d never looked at him in that way before but he admitted that he fancied me all those years ago. In fact, I remember him expressing that very well.
We went star-gazing. He’s a proper geek. Like Sheldon Cooper out of The Big Bang Theory geek. He’s all about computers and stars and nebulas and whatever else he was banging on about. I’ll be honest, I found it all fascinating so it was definitely up there with one of the most interesting dates I’ve ever had. We drove for about an hour or so before we found a secluded little village which he’d read was the darkest place near us, and the best place to spot stars and other such geekiness. We were looking for a nebula apparently – something to do with pink and red colours around the stars?
I’ll be honest, it was a super cute date. We went to MacDonald’s for something to eat and a coffee and he dropped me home. No kiss.
The next date he took me to the seaside in the evening. We played in the arcades and won all manner of cute toys and stuffed bears. At the end of the night, we grabbed proper greasy chips with lots of salt and vinegar and we sat on the seafront, not caring how much we were being battered by the wind. We took a walk along the pebbles right at the front of the water and he held my hand… Looking up at the sky, we were searching for stars and it would have been the perfect opportunity for him to present our first kiss. Still no kiss.
The third and final date we went on was to a shopping mall. We walked around, holding hands and laughing, and the chat soon turned to sex. He admitted to me that his last relationship was pretty much sexless. They had been together four years (I think he said) and they had only slept together a handful of times because she didn’t like it. Fuck that. I made my opinion on the situation very clear. That would NEVER be a relationship that worked for me. I think I scared him off. He dropped me home that night, still no kiss, and I basically never heard from him again.
Until two days ago.
What the fuck is he playing at? Me aside, he’s doing that to Bestie! He must know I’d tell him? Surely he knows that? Why would he put someone that he classed to be a good friend once upon a time, someone that he’d been friends with for years, in a situation where it was man versus girl? Surely Geek Boy knows he would never win that battle? Why is he doing this?
He has really pissed me off. If he had just said to me two years ago that he wasn’t interested/scared off / too much in the ‘friend zone’, I would have understood. I’m not that much of a fruit bat. I would probably have agreed with him. I know that Geek Boy and I have NO future whatsoever. It would have been a bit of fun – something to help pass the time. That’s all it ever would have been. I would have tried him on, knowing full well that he would never suit me, and I would have discarded him after a few months. In fact, I don’t even think it would ever have gotten that far. I think we are simply just too much in that damn ‘friend zone’.
So what the fuck is he playing at? He Joey’d me for fucks sake!